The Morning File: Steelers fans can't cope with loss? (We need professors to tell us that?)


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A new ranking from Emory University professors says Steelers fans take their losses harder than any other fans in the NFL. Who knew?

The study also said the Steelers Nation is the second most volatile group of fans, given to wild mood swings based on winning and losing exceeded only by the Oakland Raiders' clearly psychotic followers.

We found a journal one typical Steelers fan has kept for every game in 2013, but if the following excerpts are any indication, it just seems to us like the normal way to react to the home team's downs and ups -- and downs:

 

Sept. 8: Titans 16, Steelers 9 -- Fire the coach. Fire the offensive coordinator. This was just humiliating, losing at home to the Titans to start the season. The Titans? It's a good thing I haven't talked to my cousin in Nashville in years, or else he'd be on the phone right now to rub it in. Jerk.

Sept. 16: Bengals 20, Steelers 10 -- 0-2 to start the season? You've got to be kidding me. I can't tell if the offense or defense is worse at this point. It's a good thing dogs are so forgiving, or else my black lab Bubby would probably never look at me again for trying to kick him when the game ended. Fortunately, he's still faster than I am.

Sept. 22: Bears 40, Steelers 23 -- What's with Ben? I don't trust him ever since he got married and started having kids. His heart doesn't seem in his work any more. As for my own work, I'm calling in sick tomorrow. I really don't feel like seeing anyone for a few days.

Sept. 29: Vikings 34, Steelers 27 -- Now we're officially living in bizarro world. The black-and-gold have lost their first four games and did it in front of the whole world in London. Fire the Rooneys. I haven't been this depressed since Jennifer Antkowiak left KDKA news. But then she came back, so does that mean the Steelers can come back, too?

Oct. 13: Steelers 19, Jets 6 -- That's what I'm talking about! We're back! Sure, there are a ton of injuries, the offense can't score touchdowns in the red zone, the secondary is older and slower than the cast of "Golden Girls" and no one's capable of running for more than 3 yards, but I've got a good feeling.

Oct. 20: Steelers 19, Ravens 16 -- What did I say last week, man! The Ravens won the Super Bowl last year, so beating them must mean we're gonna win the Super Bowl this year. I knew this team was just playing possum. No one messes with the black and gold.

Oct. 27: Raiders 21, Steelers 18 -- Well, that's depressing. On the first play of the game, Terelle Pryor takes off on a 93-yard touchdown run against us, I go looking for a gun, and Bubby goes into hiding for the rest of the afternoon. Mom tried calling me to commiserate, which only made me madder -- I hope she'll forgive me for what I said about her cooking.

Nov. 3: Patriots 55, Steelers 31 -- If Tom Brady were here right now, he wouldn't be here long -- he'd be in the hospital, if he were lucky, once I got through with him. My therapist says I shouldn't take these things so hard, but I don't think she's ever watched a football game in her life. I'm going to find a new therapist who understands me better, but only after I get out of bed, which won't be until Wednesday at the earliest.

Nov. 10: Steelers 23, Bills 10 -- We're back. We're ba-ack. Look out now, AFC.

Nov. 17: Steelers 37, Lions 27 -- Ben is awesome. Antonio Brown is awesome. This whole team and city are awesome. So is my job, my dog, my family, the sewer lines, the government in D.C., everything's just awesome. Awesome!

Nov. 24: Steelers 27, Browns 11 -- I wonder how much Super Bowl tickets will cost this year from StubHub.

Nov. 28: Ravens 22, Steelers 20 -- That was bad, really bad, like Pauly Shore/David Spade/Rob Schneider movie bad. We had a chance to take control of the wild-card race, and instead I've got a pit in my stomach, an ache in my head and a burning desire to see the human race extinguished.

Dec. 8: Dolphins 34, Steelers 28 -- It's over. There's no point in going on. I'm not talking about football -- I'm talking about life. If you find this note with my remains, know that I very much loved my dog, my mother and, especially, James Harrison's touchdown return against the Cardinals in Super Bowl XLIII.

Gary Rotstein: grotstein@post-gazette.com or 412-263-1255.


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