Whatever happened to global warming?

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As I sit here in my house all bundled up and looking forward to another week of the polar vortex with snow and outdoor temperatures approaching zero I begin to think of whatever happened to “global warming.”

For years our brilliant climatologists warned us of impending doom as the Earth becomes hotter and the seas rise. As for myself, I looked forward to Pittsburgh becoming a tropical paradise while the millionaires in Florida found their beachfront mansions and luxury condos under water. I figured the millionaires could afford to move to Aspen if they wanted to.

But wait, the climatologists being as brilliant as they are stopped talking about “global warming” and began talking about “climate change.” Therefore they would be right whether the Earth became a desert or if we had another ice age.

In the meantime, I’ll do my part by not using hair spray in order to close the hole in the Arctic ozone layer and follow the advice of “the Hoosier poet,” James Whitcomb Riley, who said “when God sorts out the weather and sends rain, w’y rain’s my choice.”

Bethel Park

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