'Scary Movie 3' is another silly scream

Friday, October 24, 2003

By Ron Weiskind, Post-Gazette Movie Editor

The Wayans brothers are nowhere to be seen, and neither is the grossest sexual humor (well, except for the breast jokes) from the previous films in the series. But "Scary Movie 3" still has Cindy (Anna Faris) and Brenda (Regina Hall), a predilection for pratfalls and parody and a collection of comic cameos.

	'SCARY MOVIE 3' RATING: PG-13 for pervasive crude and sexual humor, language, comic violence and drug references. STARRING: Charlie Sheen, Anna Faris, Leslie Nielsen, Simon Rex. DIRECTOR: David Zucker.

It also has David Zucker in the director's chair, who misfired on his past two films ("My Boss' Daughter" and "Baseketball") but can never stain the legacy of his best movies, "Airplane!" and the first "Naked Gun" picture.

"Scary Movie 3" is too uneven to match those comedy classics, but Zucker and screenwriters Craig Mazin and Pat Proft throw a ton of gags at the joke wall and enough of it sticks to get you through the material that falls flat.

Taking potshots at more recent films than I can name or probably even identify, "Scary Movie 3" builds its basic plot around parodies of "Signs," "The Ring," "The Matrix" and, of all things, "8 Mile" -- although Eminem winning an Academy Award for best song is pretty scary when you think about it.

The aforementioned Cindy now works as a news anchor at a Washington TV station where boobs abound in management, the on-air staff and the pictorial content of the stories. But Cindy is fascinated by strange occurrences on the farm of ex-preacher Tom (Charlie Sheen, looking like Mel Gibson caught in the headlights) that presage a possible alien invasion.

Tom's brother, George (Simon Rex), wants a career in hip-hop, and wins over the predominantly black crowd at a rap battle, at least until he makes the mistake of raising the pointed hood of his sweatshirt. Meanwhile, Cindy finds out Brenda has watched the infamous videotape that results in the viewer's death a week later. That sends her for advice to "the prophet" (Queen Latifah) and Orpheus (Eddie Griffin) -- and wait until you see who plays The Architect.

By film's end, Cindy, Tom, George, a couple of strange little kids and the president of the United States (Leslie Nielsen, always funniest when playing it straight) gather at the farmhouse to fight the aliens.

All the while, the characters take a slapstick licking and keep on ticking. They bang their heads on any and all hanging objects. They endure endless kicks to the groin. They go flying when hit by speeding cars.

The audience faces a barrage of blonde jokes (the movie opens with Pamela Anderson and Jenny McCarthy -- the blonde leading the blonde), breast jokes, sex jokes (most of them oral, not visual like in the first two movies), dead body jokes, defecating horse jokes (these are visual), Michael Jackson jokes, idiot anchorman jokes, rapper jokes, pederasty jokes (featuring Darrell Hammond as a priest, no less) -- the movie is an equal opportunity offender.

But, hey, for those of us who have never quite outgrown the Three Stooges or who enjoy the irreverent crudeness of "South Park" (I always wanted to write for Mad magazine), the politically incorrect silliness of "Scary Movie 3" cracks us up just so (heh heh, he said crack).

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