Tuesday, August 12, 2003

The recent case of the mother who was driving on the Ohio Turnpike while breast-feeding her baby was especially interesting -- and not, as disreputable readers may suppose, because the word breast was featured prominently.

No, what made this interesting was that Catherine Nicole Donkers, 29, testified she was nursing behind the wheel because her husband had told her to do it.

The couple are members of a hitherto obscure church called the First Christian Fellowship for Eternal Sovereignty, which apparently believes that wives should obey their husbands, a theology that is no doubt particularly pleasing to the husbands.

(She was found not guilty of child endangerment but was convicted of three other charges, including violating Ohio's child-restraint laws.)

Of course, we should be shocked that the child-restraint laws were ignored in this case; personally, I am for restraining children up until the age of 21, and not just in cars.

But I cannot say a bad word about the First Christian Fellowship for Eternal Sovereignty. People are entitled to their religious views, and I would merely like to get some brochures from the church to see if my wife might be interested in joining.

Alas, I fear not. She was brought up as an Episcopalian, and although Episcopalians read the same Bible, I think it's fair to say that they haven't put much emphasis on wives submitting to their husbands.

On the question of men lording it over women, the Episcopalians, in company with many other mainline churches, have come to realize that this is a very hard sell in a second millennium when women are everywhere ascendant, a development unforeseen by St. Paul. Having said that, they don't support breast-feeding at 65 mph.

This is not a knock on Episcopalians. Actually, it's a defense of them, at least the majority who the other day voted to consecrate as bishop an openly gay man, the Rev. V. Gene Robinson. The majority were accused of picking and choosing what they believe, embracing what is currently popular and rejecting eternal verities that have become unfashionable.

Well, it's not as if the Episcopalians had suddenly decided that using the wrong fork at a dinner party is no longer a sin. But the dispute over gay ordination is bitter and may lead to schism. The charge of selectivity is at the heart of it. It strikes me as an odd charge, even if it is true. The very reason so many branches of Christianity exist is that selectivity is everywhere at work.

The Seventh Day Adventists, for example, believe that the Sabbath falls on Saturday. They also read the same Bible, and offer strong arguments that Sunday is not the proper day for worship. They think this is important, but other Christians, according to their own understanding, care not a whit about it.

The Jehovah's Witnesses have a thing about blood transfusions. They are not without their own arguments -- parts of the Old Testament have almost an anti-blood fetish. Other churches think it is inhumane to reject blood transfusions that save lives.

And so it goes. Some, after reading the sacred texts, condemn gambling, while others hold bingo in the church hall. Some condemn all forms of killing as murder. Others are against abortion but support capital punishment. Some frown on drinking; others have real wine in the communion cup.

The sin of usury is much condemned in the Bible. Today, of course, usury is called the credit-card industry, and a felicitous selectivity has made it acceptable. It's just as well. Otherwise, groups of anti-gay zealots would have to carry large amounts of cash whenever they ventured out of town to condemn those who pick and choose what to believe.

Because the churches differ, does it mean that they are all wrong? Not at all. If someone comes to me and says he is preaching the True Word, I (or anybody else) am in no position to refute him. Who knows? Only the Almighty knows and, when our toes curl up soon enough, He will let us know.

Anyone who says that the Lord definitely says this or that has not looked out the window and seen the many churches and their different theological points of view. My dad wisely used to say that the various faiths were just God wearing different hats.

It is good to believe. But it seems to me that after loving others as ourselves, and judging not lest we be judged, we should submit to that master known as humility.

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