As a cutting-edge newspaper columnist, I have to keep up on trends. One of the hottest trends in modern life today is reality.
Reality is in. It's big, so big that it sometimes seems like it's everywhere. You could make the case that most of life is reality-based.
The much-maligned television industry, commonly accused of serving up escapist junk, deserves credit for putting reality on the map, mainly through reality TV. TV has so much reality you could call it Reality Central.
People are eating iguanas, stripping for a piece of chocolate, chasing after some millionaire hunk who is a fraud or deciding which of eight sleazy young men will be allowed to run off with their daughter to Hawaii. It doesn't get any more real than that.
Apparently, the public can't get enough reality. Perhaps you're aware that someone named Larry Namer, co-founder of E! Entertainment Television, is planning to develop an all-reality TV channel by next year. So, instead of having to settle for an hour of reality here and an hour of reality there, you'll be able to have your reality 24/7. That's a lot of reality.
The all-reality, all-the-time channel will be called Reality Central, and don't get the impression I'm accusing Larry Namer (nickname: Jayson Blair) of anything just because I used the term "Reality Central" back in the second paragraph.
Reality will be as close as your living room or den or bedroom any time you're looking for some. You can be awakened by a ridiculous but terrifying nightmare, say, about being trapped on an island with 12 screwballs who are plotting to get you off the island, and tune in to Reality Central to get your bearings. Or if you've been reading The New York Times or otherwise have doubts about reality, just turn on the TV and you can keep it real. As the philosopher once said, "I watch TV, therefore I am."
We've all been subjected to supposedly high-minded people who feel superior about not watching any television except for presidential debates and C-SPAN. But they're ignoring reality. They're not facing up to reality. And what about their children? Are they getting anything close to their daily minimum requirement of reality?
I know what you're thinking. You're thinking: Couldn't I get enough reality by . . . just looking around? Even . . . going outside?
Not really. To be fair, you might find some reality by just looking around or going outside, assuming you catch someone eating a live cockroach the size of your wallet or making a fire shelter out of old underwear, or you run into the Osbournes on a family outing to the rehab center. But if you're really looking for reality, I mean really real reality with proper editing, you have to turn on the TV.
What's behind the trend toward reality? Quite clearly, we didn't have enough reality in our lives. Iraq, SARS, a world plagued with war and AIDS, a lousy economy, the Pirates bullpen -- human tragedies, yes, but reality?
I think Reality Central might have trouble filling all that time. Therefore I am developing my own reality TV show. It would focus on me being real, for example, leaving the house every morning to go to work on the 67F Trafford. I just had a brainstorm. They could call it, "Survivor: the 67F!" There are any number of people I'd be willing to vote off the bus, perhaps even the occasional driver.
The show could work in elements of my day at the Post-Gazette. Good action stuff like me staring at a computer screen waiting for something to appear, while a fruit fly sails around in the background providing the undercurrent of danger.
A good many of my colleagues are capable of meeting the "Survivor" dress code without even trying. More important, many of them are real. Same thing for pretty much all the stories in the paper.
Of course, I'd have to put up with a camera in my face, maybe even have to eat a live hoagie with the works, back-stab a colleague or put up with some manipulative woman stripping just to get my vote.
An ordeal, to be sure. But, really, can you put a price on reality?
Peter Leo is the Post-Gazette's writing coach. His column appears on the last Monday of the month. He can be reached at 412-263-1561 or pleo@post-gazette.com.
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