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Saturday, February 08, 2003

By Scott Mervis, Post-Gazette Weekend Editor

Let this be a lesson to anyone who would set fire to a pink pachyderm. You will face the wrath of Judge Joe Brown.

The TV judge yesterday ruled in favor of local newlyweds Phat Man Dee and Tommy Amoeba in their case against the two couriers who sacrificed the couples' bridal elephant float on the pyre at the Burning Man festival in Nevada last August.

The judge, whose show appears on WPGH, awarded the Amoebas (he a local punk rocker, she a cabaret singer) $4,600 in restitution for the fabric elephant that they used to parade down East Carson Street during their wedding at the South Side Street Spectacular.

The couple had asked friends Craig Spahr and Matt Petronko to transport the elephant to the desert festival, where they hoped to meet. When, after several days, they couldn't find each other amid the tens of thousands of revelers, Spahr and Petronko fed to the elephant to one of the fires.

The defendants admitted to the act. Spahr said in the post-trial interview, "We didn't do it out of spite. ... It had become a burden to us."

The judge was taken aback by the site of the bald-pigtailed Man Dee and Spahr (in a furry orange jacket) and Petronko (looking like a "Lord of the Rings" extra) saying, "They looked like they were auditioning for 'Hippies Take Over the Enterprise.' "

If nothing else, this could be a small step toward changing the image of Pittsburgh.