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Madden: Penguins go wrong way at precisely wrong time

Madden: Penguins go wrong way at precisely wrong time

Just when the Penguins had a good thing going with that 18-game losing streak, they had to start screwing up. Seemingly locked in on a 42.8 percent chance of taking Russian phenom Alexander Ovechkin in the next NHL draft, they had to put together a 6-2-1 run, including four consecutive wins.

Going into the games last night, the Penguins were 30th -- dead last -- in the NHL standings.

But they were just seven points out of 29th place, a position which holds zero glory and provides longer odds on getting Ovechkin via the draft lottery.

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Where's Lou Angotti when you need him?

Angotti was the coach of the 1983-84 Penguins, the team that finished last so the Penguins could draft Mario Lemieux. In terms of meaningful accomplishment, that team did more for the franchise than any other, and that includes the two Stanley Cup winners.

They did it because they refused to get better or care. That team had focus.

Eddie Johnston was the general manager of that woeful squad. He's currently the Penguins' assistant general manager. Craig Patrick and Eddie Olczyk should ask E.J. for advice on how to get things going in the right direction, i.e., down.

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E.J. always knew what to do in '83-84. Maybe the Penguins could demote their best goalie.

Wait, they've already done that.

Maybe they could ship a bunch of their young talent to Wilkes-Barre/Scranton. Come up with a weak premise, like making sure they're eligible to play in the minors during the upcoming labor dispute. Or that management wants said young talent to help the Baby Penguins make the American Hockey League playoffs for the purpose of postseason experience for the players and financial gain for the organization.

That's been done, too? Boy, things really do look bleak.

One thing is clear: The Penguins should have held onto Drake Berehowsky. If you're trying to finish last, you just can't replace a guy like that.

Things seemed be getting back on track Thursday in Toronto. Goalie Jean-Sebastien Aubin, fresh off making 45 saves in the mind-boggling, 4-0 shutout Tuesday of Dallas, gets hurt in the first period. In goes Sebastien Caron, straight off the turnip truck from Wilkes-Barre/Scranton.

So Caron -- selfishly ignoring what the stretch run is all about -- makes 25 third-period stops in a 3-2 victory. Caron made SportsCenter's Top 10 plays twice. Not once, but twice. Spotlight hog.

Kelly Buchberger actually got his first point of the season Tuesday. It brought back memories of Rocky Saganiuk's lone goal in '83-84. OK, not really. Hey, they had beer in the press box then. Mike Bullard scored 51, and I don't really remember any of them.

Aleksey Morozov has scored in consecutive games. He usually doesn't get shots in consecutive games.

As with any disaster, the Penguins' hot run has scapegoats. The team is 4-0 with Jon Sim. He's got to go. Same with Landon Wilson, who joined the Penguins just in time to help them break their 18-game losing streak. Wilson tries way too hard. Somebody make him stop.

The remaining schedule clearly works against the Penguins. Eight of their last 11 games are against non-playoff teams. Three are against Washington, just eight points in front of the Penguins in 28th place before last night.

The Capitals have gotten into legitimate contention for Ovechkin the old-fashioned way: By tanking. They started the season with a plethora of high-priced, lazy superstars, which gave them a good base of failure to build from. Then they traded all of them, creating an atmosphere of desolation and confusion that has enabled the Capitals to take the next step down. Now that's good management.

It could all come down to the Capitals' visit to Mellon Arena for the season finale April 4. I hope the Penguins are prepared to do what's got to be done. Namely lose.

Meantime, I have some suggestions for Patrick and Olczyk:

Have Brooks Orpik pull a Todd Bertuzzi on somebody. Heck, have him do it to Ryan Malone. The Penguins need to get both those guys out of the lineup.

Have Mario Lemieux make a late-season return. To play goal.

If a goalie plays well, bring back Tom Barrasso to berate and humiliate him.

Bring back Pierre Creamer to coach. Tie is good, yes? Loss is better.

The first-team power play should be Buchberger, Mike Eastwood, Dan Focht, Mike Lange and Pierre Larouche. And tell Pierre to take it easy out there.

First Published: March 13, 2004, 5:00 a.m.

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