The day after a federal judge lifted a ban on same-sex marriages in Pennsylvania, Pamela VanHaitsma and Jess Garrity raced down to the Allegheny County Courthouse to get a marriage license, just in case there was an appeal that closed that window of opportunity.
By day’s end, they had become the first same-sex couple to marry in Pennsylvania, as friends and family gathered in the Squirrel Hill courtroom of District Judge Hugh McGough to witness history.
And soon afterward the newlyweds moved to Norfolk, Va. — which wasn’t yet a marriage equality state.
So much for Pennsylvania history.
Virginia eventually did legalize same-sex marriage a few months later and today the couple has settled into a comfortable Norfolk neighborhood close to both Old Dominion University, where Ms. VanHaitsma, 36, is an assistant professor of English and Eastern Virginia Medical School, where Ms. Garrity, 39, is a research coordinator in the department of psychiatry.
Initially they had concerns about moving to Virginia, said Ms. VanHaitsma. But tenure-track jobs teaching English are hard to come by. “If I were in a different career, it might have played out differently. But if you’re an academic in an English department, if you’re offered a position, you’re very happy to take it.”
Today, their memories of May 21, the day they were legally married, are hazy. “We had gone downtown in our work clothes to get a license, thinking we couldn’t get married for three days. So we were definitely not dressed for the occasion,” said Ms. Garrity, who noted that the two then lived in Friendship. “And my mom, who is super political, said ‘you’d better go down there and get married before they can overturn anything.’ ”
It didn’t happen. That afternoon then-Gov. Tom Corbett announced he wouldn’t appeal the case. And because the couple had been together for nearly five years and had had a commitment ceremony with 120 guests just the previous Saturday, they were granted a waiver of the three-day requirement.
The waiting period is a remnant of the old gin laws, said Judge McGough. “The idea was you needed to get sober before rushing into something as serious as marriage,” he said. “That obviously wasn’t the case here.”
Ms. Garrity grew up in Shadyside and Ms. VanHaitsma, who is from Marion, Mich., earned her Ph.D. in English at the University of Pittsburgh.
“It was really important to us to get married in Pittsburgh,” Ms. VanHaitsma said. They will mark their first year of wedded bliss by biking from Washington, D.C. to Pittsburgh. They started out Friday to give them enough time to get here for an anniversary celebration on May 24.
“It definitely feels different. I know some same-sex couples don’t like to say, ‘Oh now we’re like everyone else,’ but we both really wanted to be married,” she said.
“It’s very meaningful to know you are going to be with this person for the rest of your life,” added Ms. Garrity.
Mackenzie Carpenter, mcarpenter@post-gazette.com, 412-263-1949 or on Twitter @MackenziePG.
First Published: May 17, 2015, 4:00 a.m.
