These are the letters Jerry Sandusky wrote alleged victim 4, which the prosecution presented as evidence. There are a few places where words were not legible, and some identifying details have been removed by the Post-Gazette to protect the identity of the alleged victim.

Commonwealth exhibit 1

Handwritten note to alleged victim 4 on Penn State letterhead

I know that I have made my share of mistakes. However, I hope I will be able to say that I cared. There has been love in my heart.

My wish is that you care and have love in your heart. Love never ends. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. I believe that it can overcome all things!

With love,

Jer

**

Commonwealth exhibit 23

Handwritten note to alleged victim 4

Yes, I am a "Great Pretender." I pretend that I can sing. I pretend about many things. However, I can't pretend about my feelings and want you to always remember that I care.

Not always a pretender, - "Jer"

**

Commonwealth exhibit 24

Handwritten letter to alleged victim 4

[Alleged victim's name],

Driving home the other night from Snow Shoe I had many thoughts. Some happy, some a little sad. As you know, I am very emotional and kind of let everything out. I'm not good at hiding my feelings. I have many "Forest Gump" qualities and I thought a lot about that movie as I was taking you home. As you would expect, I cried at that movie.

I remembered Forrest and how he was so na??ve (otherwise to the world) and not very smart. He was so happy because he wasn't caught up in being anything other than a caring person. (I wish that I had more of that in me.)

There was his wife and some friends who didn't understand what they had and tried to find their happiness by partying and living the fast life. So many people look for happiness that way. It didn't come for his wife or his friends. They turned away from him and went searching. Unfortunately, they only found hopelessness, despair and became depressed.

Forest stayed loyal, he didn't know any better. Somehow, people like him are blessed. He never gave up because he cared. When these special people came back to his simple life of love and concern they found hope and true happiness.

As you go through life, you may have moments when you think that there is a lifestyle out there somewhere that is the answer. I hope that in the back of your mind will be a memory of simple times, hopefully laughter, joy and warm smiles. Try not to ever forget all of those who care. Try to remember canoes, squirt guns, water balloons, fighting outside, miniature golf, Polish soccer, basketball, racquetball, football, swimming, studying, lifting, working, golfing, volleyball, kick ball, soccer (Communist Term), laughing, hurting, arguing, crying, caring and so much more fun.

Always,

Forrest Jer

**

Commonwealth exhibit 25

Handwritten letter to alleged victim 4

[Identifying salutation omitted]

Very few people know about this story and probably less care. I guess that I'm writing it for me. I'm Jer.

[Alleged victim's name] is a young man that came into Jer's life. It was a difficult time for Jer because he had lost his dad. Jer and his dad shared so much, did many things together. [Alleged victim's name] comes along and he and Jer seem to enjoy the same experiences. Both seemed to be in need. They loved playing games, competing, singing, laughing, sharing experiences, just being themselves. Jer remembers driving [alleged victim's name] home. [Alleged victim's name] would say, 'Tell me another story, Jer.' Jer of course being filled with them would come up with one. Jer remembers how he didn't want those rides to end.

Jer became attached to [alleged victim's name] and always will be. [Sentence with detail omitted] He and Jer played Polish soccer, wrote papers together, rode [alleged victim's] four wheeler even though Jer was scared to death, studied in the playground, roller skated, ice skated, jet-skied, went to a bowl game, spend days at football and soccer camp, canoed, traveled, and more. He met and did things with Penn State football players and spend many hours with them and Jer. [sentence with detail omitted] Times were not always perfect. There were ups and downs. There were arguments, fights, they cared! No matter what, there was a connection that would help them last through these difficult times. There was always a sensitive, caring feeling deep inside. Jer had learned through many experiences that life isn't perfect, even with someone he considered to be his "best friend."

Life is far from perfect at this stage. Something or things have came into [alleged vicimt 4]'s life that appear to have taken him over. It's powerful, a cloud of smoke that has engulfed him, for Jer it has been a dark cloud. [Alleged victim's name] seemed to fight it, coming over trying to do hockey, but couldn't pull it off. He seems to be losing these battles more and more. Inch by inch the cloud has choked him and taken over. It has smothered sensitivity and love, taken away his caring and enthusiasm. His enthusiasm has been replaced by sleep, his caring replaced by apathy (no concern). "Tell me another story, Jer" has been replaced by "I don't care!" This cloud has destroyed soccer and hockey, chocked smiles and laughter. There is fear that it has reached his insides, killing his feelings.

Jer believes that there will always be something special inside [alleged victim's name]. He hopes that it will last, return, if it has left. The players miss him. They say, "Come back [alleged victim' name]!" "Stay with us, [alleged victim's name]!" Jer would love to have the good times back. The players shout, "Be with me to the end!" Jer would love to hear, "Tell me another story, Jer." Jer may not be worthy, but he needs a "best friend." It doesn't look real good.

Jer understands life and its changes. He's proud, too proud, to beg for a friend, extended family member. The story will end the way [victim's name] wants it. Jer wants to be there to the end, but that's [alleged victim's name call. If [alleged victim's name] ever needs him, he'll come.

Regardless, they have had an experience that others won't. Jer will not forget and always care!

**

Commonwealth 26

Handwritten letter to alleged victim 4 on Penn State letterhead

[Alleged victim's name],

Once again, I have decided to write some of my thoughts. I write because you mean so much to us. I write because I am concerned about all of us. I write because I have seen the hurt on [name omitted] face when you don't show for him, even though you have given your word. I write because of the churning in my own stomach when you don't care. I write because I still hope that there will be meaning to the time we have known each other.

[Name omitted] and I have seen this before, had similar experiences, and to be honest, not very happy conclusions. You like to express yourself in a straight-forward manner. This will be a very direct message from us.

We seem to be a convenience. When it is inconvenient or a better deal comes along, you leave a trail of broken promises. Commitments seem to be meaningless.

You are able to bounce from person to person, object to object. You seek happiness through control, domination, and what satisfies the moment. You have to hit the home run, swing for the fence. You don't understand or choose not to worry about loyalty, commitment, or caring. The motivation is to get what you want regardless of others.

On the surface, this may appear to work for you. People enjoy your youthfulness. Different people show up to give you temporary fulfillment.

We could be wrong but don't believe this works. Our experience shows otherwise. You will get older. People will expect more. Your youthfulness will disappear. If you cannot care, you will not be able to live up to the expectations. Your so-called "best friends" will vanish. Happiness will escape your life.

You might want to stop and think about true happiness. It seems to come more often when you don't try as hard, look to just get a single, reach out to others, lose yourself, become satisfied with pain, simple people who care.

It's your life! You can continue as you have, keep looking for happiness or you can find it. We'd love to be a part of your life, but that's your choice.

We've been here, made it through some challenges. We want to always be there for you!

With some hope and a lot of caring we are:

Jer and [name omitted]

**

Commonwealth 27

Handwritten letter to alleged victim 4 on Penn State letterhead

[Alleged victim's name],

I hope that writing some of my thoughts will not annoy you as much as I do personally.

We have known each other for almost two years; gone through many highs and lows. There was tremendous encouragement as we went through last summer and into fall. You seemed like you had bought into everything and were doing well. Those who had poured out their guts for you, stood by you, were there when you needed them, swelled with pride in your accomplishments.

Somehow this all slipped away. Agreements with people who really care about you didn't mean anything. You started missing school, your attitude, your grades, and self-esteem dropped.

We tried many ways to get you to do your work but failed. You kept driving us away. It became clear that there were only two ways to make a difference in your life, and they weren't working. Somebody had to care enough to take control and help you succeed. Time and I cared enough but were not in that kind of position. The only other hope was that you would attach to us, care enough, and want to please yourself and others.

Inch by inch you continued to drive those that live and would die for you out. Instead, you bounce from one person to another, always measuring what others are willing to do for you.

Where are we? Discouraged, but we're still here, hope to remain. When it comes to school, I conclude that there is nothing that I can do or say that will make a difference. However, there is always hope. Maybe you won't quit. Maybe you will decide down the road to make an effort. Maybe there will be someway that you will want help in the future. I will be there as long as you want me. I'll stand by you as a person who has been a large part of my life. I'll always care!

I see you getting better in soccer, playing hockey, etc. Hopefully you will not throw those opportunities away. There is so much that I enjoy about you. You have special qualities. Hang on to the positive experiences whether you want me there or not. When it is all said and done remember us as very plain people who cared, tried, and always wanted to be a true friend (there in the clutch).

You will always be meaningful to us!

Keep climbing! Keep on keeping on!

Jer

**

Commonwealth 28

Handwritten letter to alleged victim 4 on Penn State letterhead

[Alleged victim's name],

I thought that I would take a moment to share some thoughts, information and quotes. As you approach your 16th birthday each day becomes more important. You will be making many decisions that will affect the rest of your life. I hope that this will be taken as words of encouragement and hope. My wish is that you will find the strength and courage to make commitments that will bring you fulfillment and happiness.

The crystal ball says "Anything is Possible." You can live your life in pool halls, selling cigarettes or go to college and provide for others. You can make and follow through with commitments or you can discard them for what appears to be a better deal.

You have begun by choosing to do the program. You will win by staying with it. I hope that you can become a winner.

Penn State football has been that. I have been touched by winners. I have observed commitment. I have seen people with pride, appreciation, love and sacrifice. They worked. The result has been 2 National Championship, more 10 win seasons than any other school in the last 30+ years, 5 undefeated seasons during this time, more bowl wins than anybody, won all major bowls etc..

I only say this to add credibility to what is said. You don't have to accomplish all that to be a winner. All that you have to do is become the person you are capable of being. You must want it and be willing to scratch, hurt a little to get there.

Some Quotes.

JFK "Life was not designed as a prison in which man awaits his execution. It is not necessary to stay with what you have. You have the capacity for great achievements, great loyalty, and great love. And I would say to you, if you have this dream to make things better don't sell out short. Don't back away. If you have a song to sing, sing it."

Ted Roosevelt: "The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena -- whose face is marred by dust, sweat, and blood; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotion, and spends himself in a worthy cause; who at best if he wins knows the thrills of high achievement and if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory or defeat."

It's your song, your choices, your life. I'd like to feel a small part of it and will be there, if you want.

**

Commonwealth exhibit 29

Handwritten letter to alleged victim 4

[Alleged victim's name],

I'm starting this letter now and may not finish it until we get to Minnesota. I enjoyed seeing you briefly when you came over for the wrestling. It was very positive that you were going to soccer practice. As [names omitted] said, it shows that you have loyalty to you team and coach.

I'm also pleased and proud of your performance in school. You have so much potential and are beginning to realize it. Hopefully you will be able to handle your success and even build on it, going to a higher level.

When you came over it was an opportunity for me to observe somethings and think. I saw a young man by the name of [alleged victim's name] show the potential to be a leader. He gets along with others, isn't too big for anybody, yet at the same time, leads by example, stands a little taller, has higher standards, is something special. I'm convinced that you can be all of that and have a positive impact on many people.

I'm also convinced that you belong to a special community here. I saw it when you ran over to see [name omitted]. I saw it when [name omitted] sprinted into the office that night to call you. You belong with [names omitted]. They are your people.

I observed some people at that wrestling match. I may be wrong, but I just feel that the genuine people you have met over here have more substance that the entertainment in pro wrestling. I'm trying not to generalize, but I love the [name omitted] and all of the people who have touched my life and now save lives. I love their sincerity. They are plain, very plain, yet extremely proud. They prove themselves for [word unclear], and I know they call about you and will be there for you.

[Alleged victim's name], I don't know what you think about me sometimes. You never know how long you have. I ask you to cling to the genuine people over here. Maybe you can become a part of it someday. [Name omitted] is really proud of you. You might be a soccer player, a manager, who knows. Your program will go on with or without me because you are really special.

I'm proud of you and really care.

Jer

**

Commonwealth exhibit 96

Handwritten letter to alleged victim 4 on Penn State letterhead

[Alleged victim's name],

In order to get everything done on time and to make sure that you have a chance to participate, OI need the hockey information filled out. Additionally, I need the program signed. This is serious to me because I am committed to doing this for someone.

It will work for a person who cares. Please think seriously about it. You have said that you are going to do it. The purpose of the agreement is to make it clear what the rewards and expectations are. I want you to be able to trust that I will follow through with what I say.

If you have questions, please talk to me. I hope that this works for you. I'll be there as long as you want me to be.

-Jer

First Published: June 22, 2012, 1:30 p.m.
Updated: June 22, 2012, 3:59 p.m.