
Beloit College (proposed school motto: "You Don't Know Where We Are, But We Do") has made an annual habit of something called the Mindset List for each incoming class of college freshmen. It's intended to illustrate -- in part for the benefit of the faculty who have to somehow relate to them -- how the world has changed during the life span of these mostly 18-year-olds.
For instance, during their entire lives, people have been able to make use of karaoke machines, recyclable plastic soda bottles and caller ID. And Sammy Davis Jr., Jim Henson, Ryan White, Stevie Ray Vaughan and Freddy Krueger have always been dead.
"The class of 2012 has grown up in an era where computers and rapid communication are the norm, and colleges no longer trumpet the fact that residence halls are 'wired' and equipped with the latest hardware," the Mindset List authors explain.
"It is a multicultural, politically correct and 'green' generation that has hardly noticed the threats to their privacy and has never feared the Russians and the Warsaw Pact."
We like many of the Mindset List's 60 examples of these freshmen's cultural touchstones (available at www.beloit.edu). For instance, to them:
• Clarence Thomas has always sat on the Supreme Court.
• IBM has never made typewriters.
• "The Tonight Show" has always been hosted by Jay Leno.
• No gas station attendant has ever asked, "Want me to check under the hood?"
'Hey, Rotstein, could you localize this story?'
Being as provincial as ever, except during those moments when we're parochial, The Morning File would like to offer a Pittsburgh Mindset List.
All those young people who last spring graduated from North Allegheny, Schenley, Ringgold and the rest of Western Pennsylvania's high schools should all share the following perceptions:
• Mario Lemieux has never lived anywhere but Pittsburgh.
• The South Side and the Strip District were created to provide entertainment for young people.
• Pittsburgh's rivers have always been safe for fishing.
• You can always count on Sally Wiggin to deliver the day's top news to you.
• NFL teams are family-owned and never get bought and sold. (So far.)
• Local television has never aired "Chiller Theater," "Bowling for Dollars" or "Studio Wrestling," so don't expect any intelligent discussion about Bill Cardille, Nick Perry or Bruno Sammartino.
• The Census Bureau has never reported population gain for the region.
• It has never been possible to see a mainstream movie Downtown.
• If local residents see the name Flaherty, Costa or Wagner on an election ballot, they are pre-programmed to vote for it.
• Lanny Frattare has announced every game the Pirates have played.
• Don't try to reminisce with them about White Swan or West View amusement parks, as they've never been to either.
• Pitt has always been better at basketball than football, and just the opposite for Duquesne.
• Fathers work at universities and hospitals, not in steel mills.
Yes, life is passing you by. Get over it.
The producers of the Beloit list told The Associated Press that it can be jarring for readers, who feel like life is passing them by once they see long-familiar references perceived so differently by young people.
"Watergate used to be a common reference," said Ron Nief, director of public affairs for the school (which is, by the way, in Wisconsin). "But a few years ago I asked some students if they knew what Watergate was and they said that was where Monica Lewinsky lived."
The authors stress they're not trying to make people feel old. In Pittsburgh, however, there's plenty of us who already feel that way regardless.
At least we've got Sally Wiggin and Lanny Frattare around, day after day, year after year, to help us through it.
First Published: August 25, 2008, 4:00 a.m.