If you're not too lazy, read this
On the outside chance that you missed the April 1 issue of the British Medical Journal, here's news you or a no-account loved one can use. A landmark Australian study has concluded that "Extreme laziness may have a medical basis." Extreme laziness? Make that "motivational deficiency disorder (MoDeD)."
The condition is characterized by overwhelming and debilitating apathy. In extreme cases, it can be fatal, because it reduces the motivation to breathe, the study warned. Fortunately, as neurologist Leth Argos, a lead researcher and advisor to an Australian biotech company, told BMJ, there is a promising new drug -- Indolebant, sold as Strivor.
"One young man who could not leave his sofa is now working as an investment adviser in Sydney," Professor Argos reported.
And now, the rest of the story
Apparently, some reporters didn't get BMJ's April Fool's joke, despite a hint here and there: Leth Argos, MoDeD, Indolebant, Strivor, etc. We learned of the put-on from HealthFacts, a newsletter put out by the Center for Medical Consumers in New York City (medicalconsumers.org).
BMJ explained on its Web site, Bmj.bmjjournals.com: "Apologies to all those who were fooled, especially New Zealand's Dominion Post. 'Credibility is hard earned,' its editor lectured us. 'You damaged yours and ours as a result.' " Gullibility is hard earned, too.
As HealthFacts reported, the hoax was a set-up for a conference on disease-mongering, an impolite term for drug company marketing strategies that turn healthy people into patients. (All those over 50 who aren't taking blood pressure or cholesterol-lowering drugs, raise your hands.)
The Dominion Post was not alone. The point of the hoax: When it comes to health, people suspend the skepticism they apply in other areas of life, such as politics.
Topics at the disease-mongering conference: "Giving Legs to Restless Leg Syndrome: How the Media Help Make People Sick," "Bigger and Better: How Pfizer Redefined Erectile Dysfunction" and "Medicine Goes to School: Teachers as Sickness Brokers for ADHD [Attention Deficit Hyperativity Disorder.]"
Perhaps it's MoDeD?
One in six Britons admits to being under the influence of alcohol at work. Insurance firm Royal/Sun Alliance polled 1,500 full-time workers and found that up to 25 percent of on-the-job accidents are caused by alcohol. People under 30 were most likely to call in sick because of a hangover, Agence France Presse reports.
Employers were urged to be on high alert because of the upcoming World Cup soccer championship. Perhaps a note from their doctor explaining that they suffer from motivational deficiency disorder would help.
National parks to stay ad-free
The Morning File last month reported on a proposal to give donors the right to slap their names on rooms, benches and bricks in national parks, though not on the face of El Capitan. Now, the answer is in: No.
About $100 million in donations and $150 million in entrance fees augment the $2.2 billion in taxpayer funds that support the national park system, the Associated Press reports. Companies such as American Airlines, Discovery Communications, Eastman Kodak and Ford have each donated $5 million or more.
Backward reels the movie
Floating around the Internet is an entertaining exercise: What new story line would emerge if you played a movie backwards? From geekculture.com:
Titanic: An enormous iron ship surges up from the vast depths of the ocean to save a large number of people who are inexplicably, and somewhat foolishly, floundering in the water near an iceberg. It then kindly takes them back to Southampton.
Jaws: A large shark finds and returns a lifeguard's bullet and oxygen tank. The shark then goes on to rebuild a boat and give birth to several humans through his mouth. The shark, its good deeds done, returns once more to its deep blue home.
Night of the Living Dead: A bunch of drunks blundering round an old house in the countryside gradually sober up as morning approaches, kindly replacing people's misplaced internal organs and carefully sewing up the wounds with their mouths.
Dracula: A kindly old gentleman in evening dress appears in 19th century London where he heals the sick and convinces an amorous young lady to go back to her husband. Returning to his home country in Eastern Europe, he nurtures a young man back to mental health and lives happily ever after running the local bloodbank for injured peasants.
Indiana Jones Trilogy: An incompetent archaeologist travels the globe losing precious objects and information, but occasionally chasing boulders up hills and unmelting the faces of Nazis.
Groundhog Day: A man repeatedly gets out of bed, takes a girl home from an increasingly shorter date, watches a groundhog disappear into a tree and goes to bed.
Got any to contribute?
First Published: May 31, 2006, 4:00 a.m.
