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Family Finances: How to handle a problem gambler

Family Finances: How to handle a problem gambler

We encourage investments in stocks or stock mutual funds only as a long-term way to save for the future.

But often, particularly when times are tough, we're asked about hot investment tips. Investing based on hot tips can be a form of gambling.

You could hit the jackpot. But chances are split -- if not greater -- that you can lose your shirt. Is the scary economy causing you or a family member to speculate on risky stocks? Are you buying more lottery tickets or entering contests in the hopes of meeting obligations? In that case, gambling could become the family's problem.

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The compulsive gambler may be a man or a woman of any age and from any social, ethnic and economic group. Problem gamblers may wager on legal and/or illegal forms of gambling.

Here are some questions that can help you spot some potential signs of trouble.

• Are bills piling up while money is used to gamble?

• Do you owe lots of money due to gambling losses?

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• Are you overly preoccupied with gambling thoughts?

• Is the family unhappy?

• Are you depressed or suicidal due to losses?

• Do you gamble to escape worries?

• Does gambling create negative personality changes?

Whether the culprit is the stock market, race track, casinos or on lottery tickets, the gambler in the family must cooperate.

Consider a recovery program. One, Gamblers Anonymous, is available at www.gamblersanonymous.org.

Once the gambler agrees to seek help, the family's first step is to stabilize the financial situation, suggests William Anthes, author of "Helping the Problem Gambling Client" (National Endowment for Financial Education, Englewood, Colo.).

Consider shifting control of the assets to the nongambling spouse or friend, he says. Then, begin repaying debts.

The gambler's spouse, friends and relatives should refuse to co-sign loans or other obligations to bail the gambler out. Also, discourage loan consolidations or filing bankruptcy.

Have someone other than the gambler take over paying the household bills. Put the gambler on a small weekly allowance. Hide, cut up or cancel credit cards. Change personal identification numbers on bank debt and credit cards and online accounts. Store valuables in a safe deposit box so the gambler can't get to them.

Other tips:

• Track down personal cash the gambler tries to hide.

• Create a spending plan for the entire household. Sometimes people living with the gambler spend recklessly out of anger or fear the money they don't spend will be gambled away.

• Put extra sources of income, such as a year-end bonus at work or an income tax refund, toward savings or investing goals. Savings should be treated as a priority -- even if debts are high.

• Include a small weekly or daily cash allowance for the gambler for coffee, snacks and other out-of-pocket needs. Expenditures should be accounted for before the next allowance is paid.

• Determine how much the gambler owes. Then set aside a specific amount to make monthly payments. The gambler should take responsibility by contacting each creditor, explaining the situation and negotiating for reduced payments. But if the gambler is working through a debt counseling program, the program may deal with his or her creditors.

Mr. Anthes says it's best to avoid quick repayment of gambling debts. Although it will cost more interest, lengthy repayment time "reminds the gambler of the nightmare his or her addiction has created," he said. "Quick payoffs from loan consolidations or refinancing a home may embolden the gambler to return to betting and pile new debt upon old."

Gambling debts should get lowest priority for payment, Mr. Anthes believes. Pay off those utility and credit card bills first, and then pay the loan shark.

The gambler may need to take a second job to help pay down the debts. Loved ones, he stresses, need to remain alert once the debts are paid off in case betting resumes.

First Published: May 9, 2008, 4:00 a.m.

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