Welcome, fellow seeker. Do you feel hopeless with modern life? Anxious or depressed? Unmotivated or out-of-step with the world? Never fear! I have for you the key to unlocking the potential of your amazing brain!
All you need is “The DOSE Effect,” by TJ Power, who claims to be a neuroscientist! If you’re worried about getting tangled in a mess of complicated science words, don’t fret! Power, who claims to have a masters in “Health Science, Neuroscience, Sport Psychology, & Paediatrics” from the University of Exeter despite no such program existing, does not allow uncertain scientific arguments to stand in the way of simple binary truth. In case you’re curious, you can find research cited in endnotes, which are only available on Power’s website.
Read far enough, and you may find that he cherry-picks evidence. So don’t bother! We’re here to optimize, not go to school! If you make it to his website to check out the research, there’s more good news! You can sign up for a $50-per-month membership to experience “your very own DOSE dashboard.” If you’re a teacher or manager, you can even book Power to perform live, in-person self-help for your grateful students or employees!
As he guides you on the journey through optimizing your Dopamine, Oxytocin, Serotonin, and Endorphin systems, Power ensures that other thinkers are included — based on fame rather than evidence. He quotes several science-ish influencers, including Anna Lembke, author of “Dopamine Nation,” Wim Hof, “who has been a true pioneer” in promoting making oneself very cold, and Andrew Huberman, “the extremely popular neuroscientist.”
Power does not pause to critique these influencers’ theories, practices, or followers, lest you worry about negativity creeping in. In his estimation, they grant us wisdom, sui generis, as though delivered by a god somewhere beyond the realm of critique. And Power is our Moses, come down from the Sinai of podcasts to enthusiastically preach.
If you don’t feel “amazing,” “brilliant,” or “incredible,” no problem! Power uses some form of these adjectives almost 150 times in this 300-page marketing funnel, so you’ll certainly receive a dose of positivity just by reading! Even processes that seem unpleasant, amoral, or impersonal get the positivist treatment.
Consider evolution, which is “brilliant” because it produces a brain that “will continue to send us negative messages, until we make a change.” Or dynorphin, a neurochemical that works to regulate dopamine: it is “incredibly intelligent,” because it makes us feel bad after a pleasurable experience.
For Power, modern life is too far removed from those of our hunter-gather ancestors. Surviving in a harsh jungle must have been “amazing” and “incredible” and “natural,” in contrast to so much of the “unnatural” that plagues modern humanity. But good news! There is “a simple answer. And you are holding it in your hands right now.”
In the style of a startup CEO posting business broetry on LinkedIn, Power ensures we understand the profundity of this sentence by repeating it, contained in a graphic of cupped palms. “The answer: The book you’re holding in your hands right now.”
You may also notice that Power is an inventor. In the section on “underthinking” you may notice that the practice he describes sounds like meditation. That’s because it is. Don’t worry about what Power has stolen from Buddhist, Hindu, or Christian traditions and rebranded as his own — these ancient traditions aren’t even mentioned.
If you do want a guru, however, Power is happy to oblige. Phrases like with “I want you to” and “you must” appear over 100 times, so you’ll have plenty to keep you busy.
Once you finish DOSE-ing, don’t forget to like, follow, and subscribe. Can’t afford $50 per month to be perpetually hectored about “healthy,” “natural” biohacking? How could you possibly afford not to? Practice your underthinking, submit your credit card info, and follow TJ Power into your optimized paradise.
Joshua D. Graber is a writer and software engineer from Pittsburgh.
First Published: February 2, 2025, 10:30 a.m.
