Steel Advice: Trainer needs to work out his vanity
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Mary Ann Wellener, our new columnist for Steel Advice.
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After 36 years in the real estate business, Mary Ann Wellener of Upper St. Clair is putting on a new hat -- as advice columnist for the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.
Through her new weekly column Steel Advice, which debuts today, she'll draw upon her experiences as a wife of 39 years, mother of four, grandmother of 10 and decades of negotiating real estate deals with people of all ages and personalities to provide direct, no-nonsense advice to readers.
DEAR MARY ANN: I am a personal trainer at a local sports facility. I have two great kids and a wonderful wife and life, but recently I have been the object of many seemingly innocent come-ons from the opposite sex. Apparently, I greatly resemble George Clooney, or so they keep telling me.
I will admit that I do see the similarity in my smile, but basically a recent haircut and my going salt and pepper seem to have triggered this onslaught of willing women.
I know, you might say "So, where's the problem?" Well, just like many celebrities out there I am having trouble keeping my ego in check. My wife is great, really, but she doesn't give me the sort of adulation that these other women provide. She is in dental hygiene and quite frankly is the bigger earner of the two of us. It is just so wonderful to feel "hot" and I am worried I may start to flirt -- it is expected in my business -- just a bit over the line. I don't want to be that guy who makes one stupid mistake that leads to losing the ones he really loves. What say you? -- DEAD (NOT YET) RINGER!
DEAR DEAD RINGER: You sound like a personal no brainer, not a personal trainer. You are worried you may cross the line in the flirt department? Come on, George. Why don't you buy a big mirror then smile and wink at yourself. Your concern should be that your wife finds out what a dumbbell she married -- that is if she doesn't already know.
STEEL ADVICE: Do some extra pushups, big boy and then buy some flowers and treat your wife to dinner and a Valentine.
DEAR MARY ANN: I am 26 and have been living with my boyfriend for 18 months. Periodically, I bring up the subject of marriage and a family. He always deflects the subject deftly without emotion. I have not made a big deal of this because I am afraid I'll lose him if he knows how important this is to me and my family. A confrontation scares me because I've become financially and emotionally dependent on him. What should I do? -- SCARED TO PRESS THE ISSUE
DEAR SCARED: You say marriage and a family are important to you and to your family. Oh, honey, why are you living with this guy? You two are not on the same page. He won't even talk about marriage. Remember the worst person you can lie to is yourself. Now is the time to cut the cord and move on. Then again, maybe you are just talking the talk to keep your family happy and just maybe you also enjoy the romance without the commitment. Actions always speak louder than words.
STEEL ADVICE: If you are sincere in wanting marriage, then you know what you have to do.
First Published February 14, 2012 12:00 am
