'Sesame Street' Muppets' alternate jobs

November 9, 2009 12:00 am
  • If Oscar the Grouch hadn't gone into show business, he might have been vice president of the United States.
    If Oscar the Grouch hadn't gone into show business, he might have been vice president of the United States.
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What would the "Sesame Street" Muppets have done with their lives if they hadn't gone into show business?

Abby Cadabby -- She's pink. Naturally, she'd be a spokeswoman for breast cancer awareness.

Bert -- Toe-tapping U.S. senator from Idaho found hiking the Appalachian Trail with Tinky-Winky.

Big Bird -- After being kicked out of the NBA for asking too many questions, he'd be the founder of a national chain of clothing stores for the big-and-tall.

Cookie Monster -- CEO of Keebler.

Count von Count -- A retired math professor from Stanford, he'd be the Obama administration's bank czar.

Elmo -- Lecturer on the evils of child abuse, especially tickling.

Ernie -- Founder of an underground movement to rescue rubber duckies from amusement park arcades.

Grover -- Enthusiastic contributor to Wikipedia until his entries were flagged for lacking verbs.

Oscar the Grouch -- After eight years as vice president of the United States, he'd be a commentator on cable news.

Snuffleupagus -- He would be an archaeologist hot on the trail of the Loch Ness Monster, Sasquatch and Abominable Snowman.


First Published November 9, 2009 12:00 am

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