'Sesame Street' Muppets' alternate jobs
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If Oscar the Grouch hadn't gone into show business, he might have been vice president of the United States.
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What would the "Sesame Street" Muppets have done with their lives if they hadn't gone into show business?
• Abby Cadabby -- She's pink. Naturally, she'd be a spokeswoman for breast cancer awareness.
• Bert -- Toe-tapping U.S. senator from Idaho found hiking the Appalachian Trail with Tinky-Winky.
• Big Bird -- After being kicked out of the NBA for asking too many questions, he'd be the founder of a national chain of clothing stores for the big-and-tall.
• Cookie Monster -- CEO of Keebler.
• Count von Count -- A retired math professor from Stanford, he'd be the Obama administration's bank czar.
• Elmo -- Lecturer on the evils of child abuse, especially tickling.
• Ernie -- Founder of an underground movement to rescue rubber duckies from amusement park arcades.
• Grover -- Enthusiastic contributor to Wikipedia until his entries were flagged for lacking verbs.
• Oscar the Grouch -- After eight years as vice president of the United States, he'd be a commentator on cable news.
• Snuffleupagus -- He would be an archaeologist hot on the trail of the Loch Ness Monster, Sasquatch and Abominable Snowman.
First Published November 9, 2009 12:00 am

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