Cat's Call: He took high road to revenge -- bravo!
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DEAR CAT: If you are wronged by somebody, do you seek revenge or just let fate deal with the person? Let's say your girlfriend cheats on you and then leaves you for a lowlife. Maybe you weren't perfect, but you were always good to her. Should you get even or just drop her?
Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
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Or let's say your company doesn't pay you thousands in commissions that you rightfully earned. Should you get even or consult with a lawyer and know they'll reap what they sow? I know the world is often dog-eat-dog and people will walk on you if you let them, so how do you come out on top? I never talked to that girlfriend again, and I quit that sales job and filed a lawsuit. I still feel burned, though. I just want a second opinion to make me feel justified. -- REVENGE OR TAKE THE HIGH ROAD?
DEAR HIGH ROAD: Bravo, you did a brilliant thing by walking away and getting a touch of revenge! They say living well is the best revenge, but you did one better. You set yourself up for living well, without a thieving boss or cheating girlfriend, both of whom must now lie in the beds they made. The best way to handle a bad string of events is to keep your head up, work really hard, be ultra-aware of red flags in your relationships and have some faith that what you put out there will be returned to you. It's not always as immediately gratifying as good old-fashioned vengeance, but ...
Cat's Call: One can land you in jail and one will always land you on top.
DEAR CAT: I've been married for 45 years. I'm over 70 and my wife is over 65. My problem is: I'm old but not dead yet! My wife and I haven't had sex in more than five years. Yes, I said five. I once caught her cheating with a younger man who was not upstanding in any way. He used to call our house when he was drunk, which was daily. It went on for months -- with a lot of gossip among people we know. It's been more than 15 years since I caught her, and she still refuses me regularly. And she complains every day about me. What should I do? Is it my problem or hers? -- TIL DEATH DO WE PART
DEAR TIL: Wow, 30 years plus 15 post-cheating. I am in awe of your endurance. Of course you still have desire, but this isn't really about sex, is it? I can only imagine the resentment in your house, but there must be a lot of love, too. You've spelled out your issues but your wife's are a mystery. I bet one (or both) of you doesn't communicate what you want, or one (or both) of you doesn't listen. My gut says it's been this way for a long, long time. Try telling her how you feel -- with calmness and patience. Then give her the chance to do the same. I know she wronged you, but you've stayed together for a reason.
Cat's Call: It's never too late to try to reconcile with someone you love.
First Published August 5, 2008 12:00 am
