Weddings should be a gay event, naturally
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The official state motto of New York is "Excelsior," which, as you know, translates from the Latin as "Fuhgeddaboudit!" -- although away from the Big Apple some insist it means "Ever upward."
That last meaning seems more accurate because New York state, by virtue of its size and influence, has just propelled the cause of fair play into the stratosphere by passing a bill legalizing gay marriage.
Of course, back in the muddy hollows, not everybody is pleased. The Republican candidates for president continue to talk expansively about freedom, except most believe it is for everyone else in the country except the minority of Americans they exclude from one of life's most personal and fundamental rights.
They do this because they believe in the sanctity of marriage, which indeed is a fine principle. Unfortunately, politicians are not in the sanctity business -- in fact, a less sanctified bunch you couldn't find this side of journalism. That's because they worship Mammon, sometimes called special interest campaign funds.
The absurdity of politicians as moral guardians is obvious whenever Newt Gingrich enters the debate. Marriage's great un-sanctifier believes that marriage is between a man and a woman, then, in due time, another woman, and then yet another woman, but never ever between two people of the same sex even if they remain lovingly faithful to each other all their lives.
If pro-sanctity politicians were serious, they would propose laws against divorce, but do you hear anything like that? No, because silence is golden to those afraid of offending the vast majority of voters.
Actually, it is pure myth that all marriages are equally sanctified. Is the sanctity of marriage preserved when two perhaps inebriated heterosexuals are married by an Elvis impersonator at a drive-in chapel in Las Vegas? That's easy. Of course sanctity is involved, as it always is when Elvis is somehow involved. Elvis was all about a hunka, hunka burning commitment.
Couples married while skydiving or under water with scuba gear, however, may not enjoy a similar blessing. "Do you take this woman as your lawfully wedded wife?" "Yesssssss! Yowwwww!" Or, in the case of the scuba divers, "Bubble, bubble, bubble." Yet no matter how matrimonially ridiculous the ceremony, some would exclude gays from embarrassing themselves in it.
First Published June 29, 2011 12:00 am
