Casino losers could use a wake-up call
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There's a bill in America's Largest Full-Time State Legislature to require casinos to mail financial statements to players, but it's a shade too timid in its approach.
A better requirement would be for monthly nagging of losers, something that is now possible through the magic of robocalls.
I know that sounds drastic, but hear me out.
Bill Kearney, a reformed gambling addict, is pushing to mail statements on wins and losses to players because common sense tells him there's an impact to telling a person how big a loser he is. Reality TV is largely based on this very premise.
The casino industry doesn't like the idea of monthly loss statements, natch, but even those who treat problem gamblers say there's no evidence such systematic updates would do any good.
This has led Mr. Kearney and the National Council on Problem Gambling to have an odd falling-out, even bigger than the one Steve McQueen and Edward G. Robinson had after their five-card stud battle in "The Cincinnati Kid." (That may be a strained analogy, but with the 1965 versions of Ann-Margret and Tuesday Weld, there wasn't much not to like about that movie, kids.)
I think the advocates for compulsive gamblers have a point in their critique, though. Who's going to read another financial statement arriving in the mailbox? We're used to bad news there: heating bills, telephone bills, the Pirates' 2012 schedule. So if amid this pile of woe you receive monthly evidence that you've already paid your gambling bill and are square with the casino, that might actually sound good.
No, what we need are professional naggers. I see the phone calls going something like this:
"Hi, this message is for Mr. L-O-S-E-R. I believe that's pronounced, 'La-hoo-ZER.'
"We were looking at your records and, frankly, chuckling. Are you a gambler or a donor? Seven hundred and fifty dollars you lost last month. Man, what a schmo. We've got some Greek bonds we'd love to sell you. And some prime Las Vegas real estate. If you were any more gullible, you'd be marrying a Kardashian. Of course, then, you'd actually wind up with some cash.
First Published November 3, 2011 12:00 am
