'Sit-down comedy' provided Arlen Specter with on-stage jokes
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Arlen, not snarlin', Specter takes his show on the road
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PHILADELPHIA -- So an ex-senator walks into a comedy club ...
That's not the setup to a joke; it's what happened when Arlen Specter took the stage at the Helium Comedy Club's open-mic night in Center City.
"I've been in comedy now for 30 years," the former U.S. senator from Pennsylvania explained.
Taking a try at stand-up was a natural step after spending so many years in the "sit-down comedy" of Congress -- and, Mr. Specter noted, it was considerably less expensive.
While some of his jokes from Tuesday night are unprintable in a family newspaper -- don't ask about the paraplegic who wanted to date the battered woman -- Mr. Specter spent much of his three minutes on stage ribbing prominent local and national politicians.
And, as befits someone who switched political parties twice in his career, both Republicans and Democrats were up for ribbing.
Mr. Specter said New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie was upset that a recent storm demolished his Jersey Shore house because it also destroyed "his entire library -- both books. And he wasn't finished coloring one."
After making jokes about both former President Bill Clinton's and current Republican presidential candidate Newt Gingrich's adulterous pasts, Mr. Specter quipped: "When I see Bill Clinton, I'm going to tell him that Newt Gingrich got applause and he didn't."
Truth be told, many of the jokes were repackaged from previous comedic performances, especially a 2007 appearance at a Washington comedy-club competition, where Mr. Specter was crowned second-funniest celebrity in the nation's capital. (At that gig, former U.S. Sen. Trent Lott was the butt of the "both books" joke.)
That did not stop Mr. Specter's audience -- composed mostly of people young enough to be his grandchildren -- from roaring with laughter.
Speaking by telephone before the performance, Mr. Specter's wife, former Philadelphia Councilwoman Joan Specter, said the appearance was unconnected to a forthcoming memoir by the senator set to be released in late March.
"Thank God," as she put it.
Afterward, her husband told reporters that "humor is elevating" and that he wanted to "try it out."
And who knows?
"I might be invited back," Mr. Specter said.
"I've been in comedy now for 30 years. The only difference is, it's not stand-up; we all have comfortable chairs. It cost about $27 million to win the seat in the U.S. Senate, so when you win one you like to sit down. Sit-down comedy."
"I called Clinton up on his 65th birthday and I said, 'Bill, congratulations on being 65. How do you feel?' He said, 'I feel like a teenager. The problem is, I can't find one.' "
On Mr. Christie: "In the last hurricane, Christie's seashore house was totally demolished. He didn't mind too much that the house was destroyed, but he was really very upset that it destroyed his entire library -- both books. And he wasn't finished coloring one."
On Mr. Gingrich: "Once, the two were on a train with a minister, when a waitress asked what they wanted to drink. "The minister said, 'I'm a man of the cloth, and drinking is a sin. I would commit adultery first.' ... Gingrich jumped up and said, 'Wait, wait, I didn't know that was one of the choices.' "
On former candidate Herman Cain: "What people don't know is that Cain had a long-standing problem since he was an adolescent: No matter how hard his teachers tried, they couldn't persuade Herman Cain that harass was one word."
First Published December 29, 2011 12:00 am
