As Alzheimer's advances, couple finds acceptance
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Alan Romatowski is battling early onset Alzheimer's disease. With him is his wife, Josie.
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When diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease at age 56, airline pilot Alan Romatowski was determined to remain productive, even if people could no longer depend on him to shepherd them across the country in Boeing 737s.
The Middlesex, Butler County, resident threw himself into volunteer work like he'd never done before. He made speaking appearances for the Alzheimer's Association in front of hundreds of people. He took whatever part-time work he could to help replace his US Airways income for his wife and children.
But as Alan passes through his fifth holiday season since being grounded by the devastating disease in the prime of his career, the productive work and most of the volunteering is gone. Stripped of his driver's license, he's alone much of the time in a home surrounded by woods, watching CNN for hours while playing with cats.
The good news is his memory is intact and he can often carry on a conversation well. Alzheimer's has eroded the 60-year-old's functioning more slowly than is the case for many patients -- he knows who everyone is, recalls what happened yesterday, is aware of his condition.
PG VIDEOBut that lucidity increasingly competes with fog. Alan strives to be the jovial joke-teller he's always been, but he stammers more than ever, forgetting obvious words. Simple tasks such as washing dishes and bagging groceries can confuse him. He becomes restless, and wife Josie finds it harder all the time to keep him contentedly occupied.
But if in some ways 2011 has been the toughest year for the Romatowskis since Alzheimer's settled into their spacious, suburban household, it has also brought a more mature understanding of how to live with the affliction.
After spending a year angrily denying that dementia symptoms had robbed him of his ability to drive his pickup truck safely or ride his beloved motorcycle, Alan now acknowledges that giving up his keys -- an action forced by his doctors -- was probably best for everyone.
Most all family responsibilities, from earning income from her Route 8 gift shop to doing chores, have fallen to Josie, his wife of 23 years. That's in addition to the burden of serving as a caregiver.
Not long ago, that all felt like too much to her. The onetime flight attendant, who fell in the 1980s for the Alan she knew as a smooth, confident pilot, would sometimes leave the house just so she could cry alone in her car in frustration. But after so many days of struggling through, then seeing she could make it to day's end and do it again and still keep her family, business and sanity intact, she realized she didn't have to feel defeated.
First Published November 27, 2011 12:00 am
