Streetwise for 02/05/12
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The rampant discourse over the nation's economic future took a back seat to some more important forecasts recently as fractious factions faced off over who had the superior groundhog on Groundhog Day.
Selected members of Marmota monax were yanked out of their comfortable dens to view their shadows, the purpose of being to predict the weather six weeks into the future. Staten Island Chuck found himself up against the powerful PR machine of Punxsutawney Phil, who made his 127th annual forecast. Not to be outdone, General Beauregard Lee of Georgia, who holds "honorary doctorates" from the University of Georgia and Georgia State in "Weather Prognostication," took on Sir Walter Wally of North Carolina.
By way of full disclosure, the fine folks at the University of Georgia tersely informed me last year that an honorary degree was serious business. They said I should not have added credence to the idea that academic recognition of such magnitude had actually been bestowed by a hallowed university on a groundhog. Therefore, let me make it clear that I did not mean to imply that Beauregard had actually been awarded such an honor. After all, it was not on his Curriculum vitae.
And consider the alterations necessary to fit old Beauregard with the obligatory academic robe, not to mention the stitches his handler would need. Yet, the appropriate robe and hood would certainly be required dress for Beauregard to stand shoulder to shin with his pedagogic colleagues.
Meanwhile, desirous of taking advantage of the ground swell of groundhog controversy but with no groundhog of its own to roust after having previously banned winter, Florida decided to "borrow" one.
So last year Florida devised an ad campaign indicating that Punxsutawney Phil had exited stage right in search of warmer digs. However, Phil's handlers were not amused, muttering something about, "trademark violation," and the promotion appears to have died an early death, unlike 127-year-old Punxsutawney Phil.
Given the expertise most groundhogs have with the English language, not to mention meteorology, there is probably some doubt as to the scientific strength of this forecasting approach.
First Published February 5, 2012 12:00 am
