Reality show 'The Hasselhoffs' poorly scripted and poorly acted
Just when you think reality TV can't sink any lower, it inevitably does.
A&E's "The Hasselhoffs" (10 tonight) is not as morally objectionable as other shows have been (think: "Hot or Not," "Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire?"), but it is hands down the cheesiest, least realistic celeb-reality show ever. And mostly that's due to star David Hasselhoff's narration, which sounds like someone with no acting training trying to read dialogue.
It's also poorly written -- not just a little bad, but dreadful in the extreme.
"If only this car could talk, I sure could use some advice," the Hoff says while driving in a car that's not Kitt from "Knight Rider."
Mr. Hasselhoff has two daughters, Taylor-Ann and Hayley, and he loves them but they are a handful, as sitcom daughters so often are.
In the premiere, Hayley lands a starring role on ABC Family's now-canceled "Huge" and everyone fears Taylor-Ann will get jealous. This is the dramatic engine for the first episode.
He visits Taylor-Ann at school and the pair go for a hike, prompting the Hoff to observe that it reminds him of another place he spent 28 days. "The Hasselhoffs" plays off the Hoff's tabloid image as an alcoholic.
"You gotta love a good rehab joke," he says in voiceover narration. "When you live the life I have, you have to be able to laugh."
Morality aside, "The Hasselhoffs" is just bad television, filled with groaner lines of dialogue and scenes that feel as unreal as the Hoff's face looks.
"When dad is a screw-up," he says, "it can be a real hassle to be a Hoff."
First Published December 5, 2010 12:00 am