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Sunday, March 02, 2003

By Pete Aldrich, Post-Gazette Sports Writer

Golfer Annika Sorenstam is ready to take on the PGA Tour. But tennis star Serena Williams has no desire to take her best shot against Andre Agassi or anybody else on the men's tour.

"I wish I could play," the world's top-ranked women's player said last week before doing a quick about-face. "No I don't. I mean, with tennis it's like Lennox Lewis against Laila Ali, but for golf maybe it's different."

Sorenstam announced last month that she will play in the Colonial in May.

The 21-year-old Williams wasn't around when Billy Jean King beat Bobby Riggs in the "Battle of the Sexes" on Sept. 20, 1973. But Williams is aware that Riggs was never close to the top in men's tennis.

"Like I said, Lennox Lewis against Laila Ali," Williams said. "She'd have no chance against Lennox Lewis, and I'd have no chance against Andre Agassi. It's just different bodies and different types. I think it would be impossible."

She's got a leg up on the field

Do you think Sorenstam will ask to wear shorts when she makes her PGA Tour debut at the Colonial in May? Shorts are a no-no on the PGA Tour, but are allowed on the LPGA Tour.

Sports Illustrated's Rick Reilly hopes Sorenstam is forced to adhere to the PGA's long britches-only policy. After all, if she can wear shorts ...

As Reilly wrote, "None of us want to see Craig Stadler's thighs."

In your face

What's with that tattoo on Mike Tyson's face?

TNT basketball analyst Kenny Smith says the tattoo is "a tribal thing."

Said Smith's partner, Charles Barkley: "What tribe? The knucklehead tribe?"

Late-night laughs

The sports world continues to provide late-night fodder for Jay Leno.

After Pete Rose failed make the Canadian Baseball Hall of Fame, Leno wondered: "What, is he betting on hockey now, too?"

Also, Leno said figure skater-turned-boxer Tonya Harding is a contender for the WTBA title -- "That'd be the White Trash Boxing Association."

The Boss doesn't miss a thing

Texas Rangers Manager Buck Showalter recently was recalling one of his blunders when he was skipper of the Yankees -- and it had nothing to do with baseball strategy.

Showalter made the mistake of appearing on "Seinfeld," a show that often poked fun at Yankees owner George Steinbrenner.

"That was my last 'Seinfeld' episode," Showalter told The Dallas Morning News. "I'd never seen the show. I didn't know they were making fun of the Boss. He told me no more episodes."

Showalter's appearance cost him more than the owner's wrath.

"I had to join the Screen Actors Guild to be in the show," he said. "Between [union dues] and taxes, I lose $17 every time it airs."

Political payoff

Florida Gov. Jeb Bush paid off his Fiesta Bowl bet last weekend, when he wore an Ohio State football jersey for part of a session at the National Governors Association meetings.

"He took it very well," Bush spokeswoman Jill Bratina said. "He was wearing the jersey for all the former Ohio State residents that now call Florida home."

Bush was on the losing end of a bet with Ohio Gov. Bob Taft after the Buckeyes upset top-ranked Miami, 31-24, to win the national championship in January.

Heads up, Andrew!

When welterweight Andrew "Six Heads" Lewis was knocked out in the second round by Antonio Margarito on Feb. 8, HBO commentator Larry Merchant landed a knockout punch of his own:

"You know what they say: Six heads, one chin."

Greetings from Boston

Boston Globe columnist Dan Shaughnessy likely has his face posted on "most wanted" signs in Hernando, Fla.

Shaughnessy infuriated many Floridians recently when he suggested that the Ted Williams Museum should be moved from its home in Hernando to Boston.

"With [Williams' son] John Henry out of the picture, it's a good time to move the museum," Shaughnessy wrote. "The entire Citrus Hills region feels depressed. One hundred miles northwest of Orlando, 80 miles north of Tampa, it's a dreary landscape of orange groves, tattoo parlors, bail bond shops and Circle Ks."

Reaction was swift when the column was reprinted locally. Residents voiced outrage and directed discontent to local tourism associations and the Boston Globe. Shaughnessy was even quoted for his reaction to the reaction.

Citrus County Commissioner Josh Wooten wrote to the Globe and was interviewed by the St. Petersburg Times, saying: "He made us look like a bunch of hayseeds in the middle of a depressed area," Citrus County Commissioner Josh Wooten told the St. Petersburg Times. "Maybe he was in a bad mood because he knew he had to go back to Boston and shovel snow."