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Sunday, April 27, 2003

By Steve Ziants, Post-Gazette Sports Writer

Just wondering: Is it really so preposterous to think the odds of the Detroit Tigers actually winning more than one game every 12 days might improve if they activated Manager Alan Trammell (age 45), coaches Lance Parrish (45) and Kirk Gibson (45) and radio analyst Jack Morris (47) -- all Tigers heroes past -- and let Brandon Inge manage the team?

They couldn't be any worse.

There is not much worse than a 2-18 start. Only that of the 0-21 Baltimore Oh-No's of 1988, to be exact.

Around Detroit, these young, overmatched Tigers have even made the Lions look good. Not to mention Dave Lewis, foreign imports and emission controls.

Gibson, Trammell's bench coach and right hand man, even tried moving to the other end of the bench.

"He just decided it might bring a little change of luck if he evaluated the situation from the other end of the dugout," Trammell told The Detroit News.

What'd he report? Much the same as the critic who watched last summer's "Ghost Ship" from the other side of the theater. It's still there, it would frighten you if it weren't so absurd and it won't go away.

It's been such a horrendous April, Trammell could write Ty Cobb, Norm Cash and Hank Greenberg into his lineup and generate nearly as much production.

Consider, going into the weekend:

They had been shut out five times in 20 games.

They were hitting .177, or barely a bloop single above National League pitchers, who were hitting .164 entering play Wednesday.

Nine of their 13 position players were hitting between .063 and .191.

They had -- incredibly -- scored one less run by any and all means (43) than the Yankees had home runs (44).

They not only were last in the majors in runs scored, but they trailed the next-to-last team -- the Arizona Diamondbacks -- by 31 runs.

They hit six home runs in their first 18 games; the Reds hit six in one game Sunday.

They had seven home runs, or fewer than Austin Kearns (9), Jeff Bagwell (8) and Alfonso Soriano (8).

And lest anyone thinks the dearth of offense has left the pitchers immune to ignominy ...

Opening day starter Mike Maroth was already 0-5 going into his start Friday in Seattle. With another start scheduled for Wednesday, he had a chance to become the first pitcher to lose seven games in April. It also makes him the early favorite to be 2003's challenger to Brian Kingman's cult-honored 22-year reign as the last pitcher to lose 20 games in a season. Which, at the rate Maroth is going, could come by the All-Star break.

If you haven't done the math already, that 2-18 start carries out to a 16-146 record over a 162-game season.

Of course, that's too ridiculous to even consider.

But the subject of the 1916 Philadelphia Athletics and 1962 New York Mets is not. They could become fast companions of these Tigers this summer. Their very own "Ghost Ship". Those '16 A's hold the record for fewest wins in a season (36); the '62 Mets the record for most losses (120).

Now, they can always try to play mind games, as first baseman Carlos Pena attempted after a 4-3 loss to the Royals Sunday.

"We're not 1-15," Pena said. "We just lost this game."

Oh.

The Guy will mention that to the people on the outside doing the accounting.

"Bottom line," Trammell said Tuesday, "it's a cruel game." And it's still only April.

Bald-acious

It's no secret that 21-year-old Devil Rays outfielder Rocco Baldelli has been on the fast track. A year ago at this time, he was at Class A Bakersfield. By fall, he was a September callup. And by opening day he was starting in center field for the Devil Rays.

But his progression in just these past four weeks has been eye-opening considering it's Lou Piniella, a man not givien to impulsive maneuvers, pulling the strings. Piniella batted Baldelli second to begin the season. All he did was hit .400 in his first 11 games. Piniella moved him to third April 15 vs. Boston. Baldelli went 3 for 4 with an RBI and a run scored. He has since regularly batted him cleanup. Overwhelmed? Baldelli went 2 for 4 with a double and run scored vs. the Orioles in his debut in the No. 4 spot and Wednesday knocked in the winning run in the eighth inning against Toronto. He had 35 hits -- third most by a rookie in April in 35 years -- and was hitting .372 going into yesterday's game vs. the Orioles.

"You can just see he's got 'it', whatever 'it' is," a scout told Jayson Stark of ESPN.com. "He can deal with adversity. He's a unique kid. There's no doubt in my mind -- he's special."

Better to be lucky

Milwaukee pitcher Glendon Rusch hasn't had much success on the mound so far this season as his 1-3 record and 8.57 ERA will attest. But never let it be said that the man doesn't have infield dirt power. Out of players in the 14th inning of a 2-2 game vs. Houston April 19, Brewers Manager Ned Yost turned to Rusch to pinch hit with the bases loaded and one out.

In one of the more bizarre finishes this young season, Yost signaled for a squeeze play. According to Baseball 101, that generally means the batter wants to get the ball on the ground. Instead, Rusch proceeded to "get hold" of an 0-1 pitch from Scott Linebrink and improbably blooped it over second baseman Jeff Kent's head to drive in the winning run.

"I don't have a name for that," Rusch said. "Luck, I guess."

Growing (arf) pains

Nearing the end of a particularly poor showing by the young Indians at Chicago's U.S. Cellular Field April 19 in which they'd committed four errors and allowed seven unearned runs in what would be a 12-3 loss to the White Sox, attendance was announced as 18,907 people and 500 dogs for the club's eighth annual Dog Day. "Make that 525 dogs," declared a member of the Cleveland press corps. And you thought only the fans on the South Side were brutal.

You want it? You got it

Here's one from the There-Is-Hope Dept. Angels radio announcer Terry Smith wondered aloud during a call-in show Sunday about the fate of the home run ball Scott Spiezio hit in Game 6 of last fall's World Series. Spiezio's three-run homer in the seventh jump-started the Angels' comeback from a 5-0 deficit en route to a 6-5 win and an eventual victory in Game 7.

Rob Main happened to be listening in his car. He pulled off the road and called Smith. You see, Main was the one who caught the ball. "I never looked into selling it or anything. I want to keep it, but if [Spiezio] wants it, I'm going to give it to him," Main said.

Tuesday, he did. Just like that. To the delight -- and amazement -- of Spiezio.

A Harden to top

A few weeks ago, The Guy mentioned a pitcher in the Oakland organization by the name of Rich Harden, who had retired the first 39 batters he faced at Class AA Midland before being promoted to AAA Sacramento. While he's since given up a hit and been scored on, he did extend his streak to 57 batters without giving up a hit before Edmonton's Luis Figueroa singled. Between Midland and Sacramento, Harden is 4-0 with a 1.44 ERA, 36 strikeouts and only one walk in 25 innings. "Obviously, Rich is a big aircraft on the radar screen," A's pitching coach Rick Peterson said.

This 'n' that

For Victor Rojas, Arizona radio analyst and son of former big-league second baseman Cookie Rojas, baseball is not just a job but a way of life. Victor's wife Kim named their newborn baby girl Mattingly Grace. ... The Royals began the season using the slogan "Your Hometown Team" (odd, The Guy thought the Altoona Curve was your hometown team). Events (read: 16-3 start) have inspired the production of three new promos punctuated by a single word: Believe. Perhaps unbelievable would be more accurate. ... God go with former Pirates third baseman Bill Madlock. He manages the Atlantic League's Newark Bears, the team that signed Rickey Henderson and Jose Lima this week. ... The Iraqis can't fool anyone. They were obviously hoarding that $665 million in metal boxes in order to make an online bid on that dream afternoon with Jose Canseco. ...

You have to love the titles teams come up with anymore. The Mets hired licensed psychologist Fran Pirozzolo as their "mental skills" coach. The way their luck has been running, a witch doctor might be in order next. ... It's likely more temporary than the cult fame of Mohammed Saheed al-Sahaf, but of all the great shortstops in the American League, did you notice who the top RBI man was at the position going into the weekend? Tampa Bay's Rey Ordonez (16). ... The Twins' first seven series all resulted in sweeps three for the Twins, four against. ... (Sticky) promotions update: The Bisbee-Douglass Copper Kings of the independent Arizona-Mexico League will hold Ted Williams Night at the ballpark June 2. The first 500 fans through the gates receive free Popsicles. ... The Red Sox bullpen coach's name is Euclides Rojas. Really, it is. ... Guys like Bud Selig give husbands a bad name. Upon announcing he would step down when his contract as commissioner expires Dec. 31, 2006 after what will be a 14-year run, he admitted: "I told my wife it would be two-to-four months."

Shot and a jeer

Shot: Said Mets closer Armando Benitez after his fourth blown save of the month April 19: "I don't worry about a blown save. [Pitchers are] human. We're not machines." Good thing. New York has very unforgiving Lemon Laws.

Jeer: Boss Steinbrenner. Is there any other man in the game who could find a way to take a 19-4 team and make the story about a pitcher with a 10.80 earned run average?