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Sunday, August 18, 2002

At 12:24 a.m. Aug. 10 (or 9:24 p.m. Aug. 9 if you're reading this three hours before it's written in San Francisco), Barry Bonds hit home run No. 600 off the Pirates' Kip Wells. A 2-1 slider in the sixth inning that sailed 421 feet over the center-field wall at Pacific Bell Park and into the game's long book of keepsakes.

At approximately 12:26:30 a.m., the 41,897 fans on hand (less "lucky" fan Jay Arsenault and the half-ton of human greed lying on top of him), called Bonds out of the Giants' dugout for a curtain call.

And rightly so. This was history. This was theater. This was a man summoned to Olympus, to Valhalla, to backstage at a Springsteen concert. This was a moment not seen in 31 years. And only twice before that.

This is one of the ways we've come to acknowledge greatness of artistry in America. This, and shelling out $999.98 on the Home Shopping Network for a limited edition autographed bat.

How then, do we explain what fans were thinking this week in Chicago and Cincinnati and St. Louis and even the next afternoon back in San Francisco? They, too, stood and cheered as if they'd just seen the heavens open and heard Babe Ruth belch.

What history had they witnessed? What moments exceeded the call for the polite clap, the raucous applause, the enthusiastic hurrah or even the time-honored standing ovation?

They called out Sammy Sosa at Wrigley Field for homering ... in a Cubs loss. They called out Aaron Boone at Cinergy Field for homering three times in a game ... notable certainly, but accomplished four times last week alone. They called out Bonds teammate Benito Santiago at Pac Bell ... for hitting a grand slam in a forgettable game in August. And those crazies at Busch, they provided the final proof why there is a place in this world for E! when they called out Scott Rolen ... for breaking out of a 2-for-32 slump.

"Unbelievable," Rolen said.

He said it. If pitching is diluted, if home run standards have been artificially inflated, if Chris Sabo is worth a bobblehead doll day same as Hank Aaron, so, too, it seems, has the All-American Curtain Call been dumbed down.

Think about it. Adam Hyzdu got one this year. And Cliff Floyd, who played in Montreal for all of 17 games. And a kid named Marcus Thames, too; Marcus Thames, who had been in a big-league uniform literally for all of an hour in June.

Out of control? Remember who got the first curtain call in PNC Park history: One Derek Bell.

The same accolade afforded Reggie Jackson after he hit three homers on three pitches in Game 6 of the '77 Series. The same bravisimo that rained down upon Bonds and Mark McGwire when they turned 61 into 70 and then 73. The same you-da-man that stopped a country for 22 minutes when Cal Ripken Jr. broke Lou Gehrig's Ironman record in 1995.

At this rate, we'll end up calling out a reformed Tonya Harding when she gets out of the slammer and turns her life around while touring in the Just Cuz I'm Not A Real Blond Doesn't Mean I'm Not Fat, Dumb and Stupid Revue.

All things Bonds

Even though 31 years separated Bonds' 600th from the previous man to hit a 600th -- Hank Aaron (April 27, 1971) -- Bonds and Aaron shared two victims on their journey to 600. Both homered off Frank Tanana and Rick Reuschel. ... Bonds says the Hall of Fame has not asked for any items from the game in which he hit No. 600. "Nobody asked me. You guys seem to forget -- I ain't the most liked person in baseball." There's a news flash!

The joke's on who?

After hitting home run Nos. 597 and 598 at PNC Park Aug. 3-4, Barry Bonds said of the Pirates' 2-year-old palace: "This park is a joke. The ball just flies out of here. I don't even want to think about how many more home runs I would have if I would have played here for seven years." He might want to rethink his comments. (Imagine that!) PNC is 320 down the right-field line; Bonds' home at Pac Bell is 309.

Stuck in the hoop

A Caller In The Stands caught The Guy in a slip-up last week. Duquesne standout Dick Ricketts should have been included on the list of athletes who played in both the major leagues and the NBA. Ricketts was the overall No. 1 pick in the 1955 NBA draft and played for the Hawks and Royals through the 1957-58 season. He pitched for the St. Louis Cardinals in 1959.

Mousse for 5,000

Defrocked Ohio congressman Jim Traficant was unavoidably detained (prison has a tendency to do that to a fella), but "Jim Traficant Night" nevertheless went on without him at Cafaro Field in Niles, Ohio, Wednesday night. For the record, 4,597 fans turned out to see Mahoning Valley, an Indians' Class A affiliate, beat Jamestown, 9-8. But what they really came for was to celebrate(?) the man, the myth, the muss. Ninety-nine of them got in free-- 53 because they were sons of truck drivers (a favorite Traficant self-description), 46 because they wore toupees (oh, you know why).

A 16-year-old girl was even spotted in the stands wearing an orange jail suit, handcuffs on her wrists and a gray, furry hat atop her head. "It's just a prank," she said. "I'm used to making a fool of myself."

Sure sounds like congressional timber to The Guy.

Crossing over

Remember in "Bull Durham," something as basic as breathing out of the wrong eye (and who among us hasn't done that?) could throw off Nuke LaLoosh's game? Marlins pitcher Julian Tavarez found out what it was like to try to bat through the wrong side of his helmet Tuesday.

On a whim, on a hunch, on advice from the ghost of Babe Ruth, Tavarez -- a natural left-hander -- stepped into the box right-handed in the fifth inning against Colorado's Mike Hampton. He swung and missed the first pitch before plate umpire Jeff Nelson noticed Tavarez was wearing a helmet for a left-handed hitter -- illegal, not to mention a fashion faux pas, according to the latest edition of Martha Stewart: Advice For Better Hitting. Change helmets? Bah! Tavarez stepped to the other side of the plate and promptly spanked a go-ahead RBI single to center.

That's his boy

Pardon Reds Manager Bob Boone if he indulged his satisfaction with reporters after seeing son Aaron homer three times in the Reds' 12-10 win against San Diego Aug. 9. Throughout May and June, Boone took heat from the media and local talk-show tongues for keeping his son in the lineup even when his average dipped as low as .193. Some suggested it was only because they shared the same last name and affection for Aaron's mother.

"That's where the nepotism comes in," crowed Boone. "There is no way I would have stayed with him if he wasn't my son." At last check, the younger Boone was hitting .250 with 23 HRs, 68 RBIs and 25 stolen bases.

Good, wild & ugly

Good: Sammy Sosa, Cubs, Aug. 10: 4 AB, 3 R, 3 H, 3 HRs, 9 RBIs in a 15-1 win vs. the Rockies. It jump-started a run in which he had 5 homers and 16 RBIs in a 48-hour period. Going into play Friday, there were 59 players with at least 100 at-bats who had not driven in 16 runs, including Ken Griffey Jr. and Rickey Henderson.

Wild: Mike Sweeney, Royals, Wednesday: SB, Sweeney (home off Pettitte/Posada) in a 3-2 loss vs. the Yankees. How often in this lifetime are we going to see a guy who's 6-3, 225 pounds pulling off a straight steal of home? "I made eye contact with [Manager] Tony Pena and he gave me the nod," Sweeney says. "I thought he told me to go ahead. I later found out he was telling me be ready for a ball in the dirt."

Ugly: Tanyon Sturtze, Devil Rays, Tuesday: 6 IP, 7 H, 8 R, 8 ER, 3 BB, 7 Ks in a 9-5 loss vs. the Indians. Even he has come to realize this isn't his year after dropping to 1-13. He did reach a milestone in this one, though -- first pitcher to allow 200 hits (in 165 2/3 IP).

Series of the week

Angels (73-48 before yesterday) at Yankees (77-44), Tuesday-Thursday. ... The series begins a seven-game swing for Anaheim through New York and wild-card contender Boston. ... The surprising Angels are best epitomized by mighty-mite shortstop David Eckstein. Eckstein is 6 for 17 with 19 RBIs with the bases loaded."What is he, about 5-foot-2?" moaned Toronto's Roy Halladay after losing to the Angels, 1-0, Sunday on an Eckstein home run.

This 'n' that

A strained ribcage ended Arizona outfielder Luis Gonzalez consecutive games played streak at 446 Wednesday. It had been the longest active streak in the majors -- and was only 13 1/2 years short of breaking Cal Ripken's record. Oakland shortstop Miguel Tejada now has the longest streak at 393. ... Managers say the darndest things. Boston's Grady Little addressing a recent hot spell by Manny Ramirez: "When Manny's locked in, he's hitting the ball where it's pitched." The Guy's no manager, but he's gotta believe that's easier than the other way around. ...

A pretender? The Reds are 44-23 vs. teams with losing records, but only 18-36 against the rest. ... Pedro Martinez (16-3) and Derek Lowe (17-5) are on course to give the Red Sox their first pair of 20-game winners since Mel Parnell and Ellis Kinder in 1949. The Pirates have not had two 20-game winners in the same season since Remy Kremer (20-6) and Lee Meadows (20-9) in 1926. ... Potential 20-game losers might be falling by the wayside (read: Todd Ritchie), but Brewers shortstop Jose Hernandez still has Bobby Bonds' all-time strikeout record of 189 in his headlights. With 153 going into last night, he was on pace for a staggering 205. ... Finally, Devil Rays Manager Hal McRae offered his thoughts on the prospects for the game if there should be another work stoppage: "A coin toss which recovers quicker -- baseball or the [stock] market?"

Shot and a jeer

Shot: Shouldn't it make us all feel better that when and if there is a new collective bargaining agreement, the 25th player on the Devil Rays will make only $100,000 less than the leader of the free world?

Jeer: The Cubs had a player fall asleep during Tuesday's 5-4 loss vs. Houston. While not condoning what happened, Sammy Sosa could've struck a better chord in light of the precarious state of the game's future. "Sometimes it's tough to wake up [every day] at 8, but you have no choice" Sosa said. Gosh! Wonder if that leaves him enough time to put the Twinkies in the lunch pail.