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Sunday, June 23, 2002

Through one of those freaky quirks of nature akin to this summer's return of the cicada, Shaquille O'Neal and the popularity of "The Osbournes", we find ourselves today at the conclusion of something even rarer -- 10 days of designated hitter-less baseball.

For the first time since Ron Blomberg stepped to the plate April 6, 1973, the game has been DH devoid since June 14 because of an interleague setup that put all American League teams in National League parks for the past 121 games.

What better time for pitchers to step up and spit in the face of the DH.

Jack Nicholson wants to be Phil Jackson. Michael Jordan wanted to be Frank Thomas. Heck, Tiger Woods, well, El Tigre probably wants to be someone, too. But just who (and why), The Guy In The Stands can't for the life of him imagine.

Pitchers are no different. They want to be Barry and ARod.

Remember what those astute students of the game, Greg Maddux and Tom Glavine, told us a few years back: Chicks dig the long ball.

One pitcher, Shawn Estes of the Mets, actually did go yard during this time on the dark (ages) side of the moon. Unfortunately, the only moon anyone wanted to ask him about afterward was the one he missed -- aka Roger Clemens' prodigious butt.

Where's the love there?

Lost somewhere between perception and reality, The Guy suspects. The sort of gray area that separated Orioles Manager Mike Hargrove from Travis Driskill, his starting pitcher, Sunday.

With two outs in the third inning, Phillies pitcher Terry Adams walked Driskill. The next batter, Brian Roberts, launched a double off the center-field wall. Even with the deep hit and the fact that Driskill was running on contact, it "still looked like he needed oxygen by the time he got to third base" on his way home, Hargrove said.

Driskill's take? "I think I put myself in line for a pinch-running appearance."

Is it any wonder owners and players haven't hammered out a new contract yet?

Is it any wonder The Guy felt obliged to track the bat-wielding numbers of the pitching brethren in much the same way storm chasers drive their '83 El Caminos into the middle of the nearest trailer park at the first sign of a tornado. He has to see for himself. He has to know just what we've been missing since the American League went DHing in '73. The batting line for pitchers from June 14 through Friday:

• Category No.

• At-bats 420

• Runs 23

• Hits 52

• Home runs 1

• Runs batted in 22

• Walks 16

• Strikeouts 161

• Batting average .124

Ouch! Pitchers aren't going to get many chicks with that pickup line. Even Greg Vaughn has better numbers.

But for real analysis, go to an expert. Said Detroit pitcher Jeff Weaver after pitching a five-hit, 6-0 shutout against Atlanta Tuesday that improved his interleague record to 8-1: "I think just the confidence knowing there's maybe an extra out [the pitcher] in the lineup helps me go out there and stay aggressive."

No one can question his qualifications. His batting line Tuesday: Four at-bats, four strikeouts.

Tin sluggies

Like Estes' home run, pitchers at the bat did enjoy some triumphs amid all the crashing and burning that engulfed the No. 9 spot this week. To them, The Guy presents his Tin Sluggers:

Second runner-up: Clemens, Yankees, had a double Saturday and a single Thursday. How often in his illustrious career can The Rocket brag about a two-game hitting streak?

First runner-up: Estes, Mets, collected the first home run by a pitcher against Clemens in Clemens' career. But about that pitch, Shawn ...

The winner: Kenny Rogers, Rangers, not only went 1 for 1 with a run batted in vs. Houston Sunday, but stole a base -- the first SB by a Rangers pitcher since they were the Senators and the year was 1967.

Hit and run

It was just a little dribbler in the direction of Indians pitcher Danys Baez in the sixth inning Wednesday. For Florida's Luis Castillo, it was the hit that kept his hitting streak alive; a streak that subsequently ended at 35 games last night. "I don't think his feet hit the ground," said teammate Derrek Lee of Castillo's flight down the first-base line. "He wanted it bad."

It was not a fluke. Castillo has that kind of speed. Upon such nubbers, rollers and bunts was his streak built. Fourteen times the hit that extended the streak never left the infield. The streak, in fact, began May 8 with a bunt single against San Diego and included 18 infield hits.

The 'inside' story

Detroit's Wendell Magee hit one of the strangest, most confusing and ultimately one of the most hilarious home runs we'll ever want to see June 14. Magee hit a long fly ball toward the right field corner at Bank One Ballpark. Diamondbacks right fielder Jose Guillen set off after it and appeared to make the catch before crashing into the fence, a hit that left Guillen lying sprawled at the base of the wall.

First-base umpire Mark Wegner made the out call, but then noticed Tigers reliever Jeff Farnsworth -- standing only a few feet away in the Tigers' bullpen -- pointing like Farmer Brown's best huntin' dog. Suddenly, Wegner reversed his call. Magee, already near third and about to depart for the dugout, ran home instead. Ruling: Inside-the-park home run. Seems the ball, like a Bullwinkle J. Moose magic trick gone awry, had gone from Guillen's glove to his hat.

Says Guillen: "When I hit my head so hard, it was kind of hurting my memory. As soon as I don't see the ball in my glove, I said, 'Oh my God, where's the ball? When I turned back and looked, it was inside my hat."

Feel-good moment

The Guy would feel remiss if he didn't mention catcher Alex Zinter, who Tuesday night appeared in a big-league box score for the first time. A ground out to first pinch-hitting for Nelson Cruz in the seventh inning of the Astros' 7-1 loss to Milwaukee. So what? So this. Zinter is 34 and has knocked around the minors for 14 years since being a first-round draft pick of the Mets in 1989. He finally got called up Sunday.

"I was joking with Alan today and reminding him of how he stood up before the New York media and said he expected to be in the major leagues in two years," said Astros GM Gerry Hunsicker, who was in the Mets' front office then. "As he found out, careers don't always go the way you plan them."

But sometimes, as Zinter discovered, dreams can still come true.

Gotcha!

Mariners Manager Lou Piniella couldn't understand why outfielder Eugene Kingsale was sitting in the Padres' dugout before a game last weekend. And in the other team's uniform. Ooops! Apparently, someone forgot to check his in basket. The Mariners put Kingsale on waivers June 14 in order to send him back to the minors, but the Padres claimed him.

Smoking

The Yankees must be wondering what all the fuss was about the Coors Field humidor. The way their first trip to Denver played out this week, an aficionado wouldn't even trust his Philly Blunts to the contraption now. In winning 2 of 3, the Yankees scored 41 runs on 54 hits, including nine home runs They hadn't scored so many runs in a three-game set since 1951. Heck, former Pirate John Vander Wal didn't enter Wednesday's 20-10 run-letting until the fourth quarter, er, sixth inning and still went 2 for 4 with four RBIs.

What's more, the return to the "old days" brought Coors Field quipsters back from exile.

Said Yankees Manager Joe Torre: "You're in the on-deck circle and you're very close to being in scoring position."

Bottom line. "I guess the humidor's broken," opined Colorado Manager Clint Hurdle.

Good, wild & ugly

Box score lines of the week:

Good: Placido Polanco, Cardinals, Wednesday: 4 AB, 2 R, 3 H, 2 HRs, 4 RBIs in a 6-2 win vs. the Angels. Adding to an already surreal air at Busch Stadium on a very sad evening, he homered twice after hitting only 11 in his previous 1,434 career at-bats.

Wild: Ray Durham, White Sox, Sunday: 0 AB, 3 R, 0 H, 0 RBIs in a 10-7 win vs. the Cubs. Walks do, indeed, kill ... or at very least, come around to score more often than not.

Ugly: Andy Pettitte, Yankees, Wednesday: 3 2/3 IP, 8 H, 8 R, 5 ER, 3 BB, 0 Ks in a 20-10 win vs. the Rockies at Coors Field. Guess we can scratch another pitcher off the list of those who will never sign with Colorado.

Series of the week

White Sox (36-38) at Twins (40-33), tomorrow-Thursday. ... After 74 games, the top two teams in the AL Central finally meet for the first of 19 times.... Typical of the in-and-out Chicago season was Todd Ritchie's performance Friday. Ritchie, the former Pirate, allowed the Braves just two hits in 7 1/3 innings yet lost the game, 3-2, to fall to 4-9.

This 'n' that

Go figure. Within 48 hours after finishing their historic series in Denver, the Yankees score a combined two runs against San Diego's Oliver Perez, 20, and Jake Peavy, 21, who counting their two starts this weekend now have a combined three in the major leagues. ... The Athletics have a schedule even Orbitz or Priceline couldn't make right. Because of the new interleague setup in which they had to play the Pirates and Reds -- the only Eastern time zone teams in the NL Central -- in addition to their regular AL trips East, the A's will log a major-league high 52,000 miles and 132 hours in the air by season's end. ... Manny Ramirez will never be confused with a Rhodes Scholar. While on rehab with Pawtucket this week, the Red Sox' $160-million man slid head-first into third base. Not too bright for a man out since May 11 waiting for his broken index finger to heal. ...

Local kid update: Scott Seabol (Glassport) homered, doubled, had an RBI single and scored the go-ahead run as Columbus beat Toledo, 11-10, Monday. Seabol is hitting .253 with 9 HRs and 39 RBIs for the Class AAA Clippers. ... When John Rocker surrendered a homer to the Cubs' Alex Gonzalez in the bottom of the ninth Tuesday, it marked the seventh "walk-off" loss for the Rangers. Need The Guy bring this up: None were against the Pirates. ... If you're concerned about a strike, a date to circle on the calendar is July 8. The players union's executive board will meet in Milwaukee and is likely to set a date. ... Finally, one last tribute to Cardinals broadcaster Jack Buck. This from another venerable Cardinal -- Red Schoendienst. "If he was a ballplayer, with his timing, he'd probably have been a .400 hitter."

Shot and a jeer

Shot: As we watch Adelphia Cable slide toward bankruptcy, as we watch the NHL move on the Buffalo Sabres, imagine the state of uncertainty that would exist around the Pirates today had Adelphia founder John Rigas and the Pirates been able to find common financial ground in 1995 when Rigas was the front-runner to buy the club. Remember that when you begrudgingly shell out that extra buck for a ticket or are asked to dump your Starbucks at the gate.

Jeer: Sports talk shows have filled hours bemoaning the small(er) crowds at PNC Park. And attendance is off by about 9,000 per game from its inaugural season. But that doesn't mean the decision to build the park is suddenly a poorer one. Look at the big picture. The Pirates are on pace to draw 1.77 million fans. Only three years in 30 did they draw more at Three Rivers. And only four times in the entire history of the franchise have they drawn as many. So shut up already.