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Sunday, February 10, 2002

By Steve Ziants, Post-Gazette Sports Writer

Ever notice how there's a record for everything?

Bet you didn't know that Gary Sheffield became the first player in history to hit a home run in three 1-0 games in a season in 2001? He was.

And The Guy In The Stands bets you didn't know that the world -- even a post-Sept. 11 world -- could be shocked an apparently infinite number of times based on the rants of Ty Law and his New England Patriots buddies Sunday night? Infinite? It only makes sense that that would be a record. And let's not get into the number of times The Guy's palatial villa in The South of Bethel Park has been reassessed the past two years. That would be a record, too ... except he hasn't been able to get past why the Buffalo Sabres were brought in in the first place to do the job.

So when the Pirates signed second baseman Pokey Reese Feb. 1, his fourth team in 43 days, well, that just had to be a record, too. But it wasn't.

That distinction belongs to a journeyman pitcher by the name of Mike Kilkenny. In five mostly indistinguishable seasons from 1969-73, Kilkenny went 23-18 with a 4.44 ERA. But in 1972, he carved his niche in trivia history. A month into the season, May 9, the Detroit Tigers traded Kilkenny to Oakland. Eight days later, May 17, the A's turned around and shipped him south to San Diego for Ollie Brown. He was given just enough time to get unpacked and allow his mail to catch up to him before the Padres dealt him to Cleveland for Fred Stanley June 11.

That made four teams in 33 days. Historian Scott Flatow lists nine players who have been with four teams in one season -- the most recent being Dave Martinez in 2000 (Tampa Bay, Chicago Cubs, Texas, Toronto) -- but none, to the best of The Guy's knowledge, had their luggage stamped faster than Kilkenny.

"It's been a lot of waiting for me lately," Reese said the day he signed, ending an off-season that saw him traded from Cincinnati to Colorado (Dec. 18) to Boston (Dec. 19), where he became a free agent Dec. 21 when he was not offered a contract. "I feel like I finally have a home."

Did he say home? He can only hope. Not that this should have anything to do with anything, but Reese hails from Columbia, S.C., which is 70 miles northeast of Hartsville, S.C. Which just happens to be the birthplace of Bobo Newsom, who, coincidentally, just happens to have been the most traded player in baseball history. Newsom, who won 211 games (and lost 222) from 1929-53, was traded 16 times, including five different times to the first incarnation of the hapless Washington Senators.

Newsom died in 1962. But he is not forgotten in Hartsville, where townfathers were downright poetic in memorializing their favorite son. They named a road -- the Bobo Newsom Highway (East & West) -- in his honor.

Now that's a hometown.

Figures don't lie

Hard as it is to believe, Jason Giambi did not have as good an off-season as brother Jeremy. Relatively speaking. Under his new $120 million, seven-year deal with the Yankees, Jason will earn a base salary of $8 million in 2002 -- a 95 percent increase from the $4,103,000 he made in Oakland in 2001. Jeremy signed a one-year contract with the Athletics Feb. 1 for $1,065,000 -- a bump of 277 percent from his 2001 base of $282,500.

Rockie ground

Hand it to the Colorado Rockies. Their single-game ticket pricing system would make Enron's accounting black magic look positively elementary. For owners, it also might be tomorrow's luxury box rabbit-in-the-hat.

For the second season, the Rockies have pricing levels based not only on location i.e. box seat, grandstand, etc., but also on the opponent and/or the promotion schedule. Of their 81 home games, 12 are "regular-priced." Guy translation: Montreal on a Wednesday night in May.

The remaining 69 have been labeled divisional, premium or classic, with price bumps commensurate with their BMW-and-bottled-water sounding tags. Constituting a "classic" in Denver are opening day, three-game interleague series' vs. Cleveland and the New York Yankees, and (Guy note: Pirates bosses can stop reading here) fireworks games July 3 vs. San Francisco and July 5 vs. San Diego.

How confounding will it be to be a Rockies fan? A fan who will pay $19 to sit in a bleacher seat on opening day will be able to get that same seat the following day to see the same teams for $11.

Better luck next time

Pirates third baseman Aramis Ramirez will just have to wait to be immortalized in ceramic. In an online contest The Guy wrote about in January, Erie Seawolves fans were asked to select the three 'Wolves players they'd most like to see given bobblehead status this season. The winners: Eric Munson, Omar Infante and Kenny Baugh ... but not Ramirez. In 61 games with Erie in 1996, Ramirez hit .305 with nine home runs and 41 RBIs.

This 'n' that

Pirates fans (and GM Dave Littlefield) can only hope the fantasy-league geeks are really geeky this year. The Sporting News 2002 Fantasy Rankings lump Pokey Reese in a group titled "Falling Down." And The Guy quotes: "Poor attitude, batting average and on-base skills hurt his playing time and steals." ... Kevin Orie (Upper St. Clair), dubbed the next Ron Santo when he was made the Cubs' starting third baseman in 1997 but whose major- and minor-league odyssey found him at Class AAA Scranton/Wilkes-Barre last summer, will be back in Chicago's camp this spring on a minor-league contract. "It's not so much a spring training to get loose," Orie told Paul Sullivan of the Chicago Tribune. "Right off the bat I have to perform." Bill Mueller goes into camp No. 1 on the depth chart. ... For the record, the Cubs have used 93 players at third since Santo left after the 1973 season. ... Kenny Lofton is good, but The Guy never thought of him as a draw at the gate. Yet the free-agent contract he signed with the White Sox last weekend includes an attendance bonus. ...

Former Pirates shortstop Mario Mendoza will manage Shreveport of the Texas League, prompting Chicago Tribune columnist Steve Rosenbloom to write: "So there you go. The Mendoza Line is 32.5 degrees north latitude." ... On the subject of former Pirates, shortstop Kevin Elster is a non-roster invitee to the Yankees' camp, Dan Miceli will go to camp with Texas, and Bruce Aven has a minor-league deal with the Indians. ... What are the odds of two players with the same name (phonetically, anyway) being signed on the same day (Jan. 16) -- pitcher Scott Service by the Pirates, catcher Scott Servais by the Giants. The Guy's threshold of amusement scares him sometimes. ... The fat groundhog was wrong. Spring begins Thursday. Pitchers and catchers for 12 teams, including the Pirates, report to camp.

Shot and a jeer

Shot: Based on past performance, The Guy assumes the group most pleased by the Mets' acquisition of Mo Vaughn and the return of David Wells to Yankee pinstripes must be the New York local of the Federated Amalgamation of Strippers Local 1069.

Jeer: Enron Corp. is billions of dollars in debt and its pensioners are filling out applications for bag boy at the neighborhood Piggly Wiggly, but company officials found $108,000 in unshredded bills Jan. 22 to pay the Houston Astros for their 14-person stadium luxury suite and another $90,000 to pay for the 35 box seats its stadium naming rights agreement mandates they buy. The only thing that would require greater kahones is for them to actually use the seats.