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Tuesday, January 22, 2002

By Dave Molinari, Post-Gazette Sports Writer

When the Penguins' offense was sputtering a few weeks ago -- pretty much the way it had for most of the previous three months -- circumstances presented an opportunity to pick up a big-name talent, and Penguins General Manager Craig Patrick didn't hesitate.

Robitaille was available, and Patrick snared him.

Sort of.

What the Penguins needed was Luc Robitaille, whose 612 goals are the most by a left winger in NHL history and whose Hall of Fame resume includes 46 games in their employ in the lockout-shortened 1995 season.

What they got was Randy Robitaille, who trails Luc Robitaille by 588 goals, and who is on pace to catch him sometime around the Olympic break in, oh, 3002. Assuming Luc Robitaille retires before next weekend.

Claiming Randy Robitaille off waivers from Los Angeles, though, allowed the Penguins to add another chapter to their rich history of grafting guys with a compelling surname, but the wrong first name, onto their payroll.

The most celebrated move of its kind came Oct. 18, 1978, when then- general manager Baz Bastien, purportedly in the belief that he was about to pick up All-Star left winger Steve Shutt, sent a 1981 first-round draft choice to Montreal for Rod Schutt.

That would be the same Rod Schutt whose major accomplishment in the NHL was, well, being mistaken for Steve Shutt. If not by anyone who ever watched him, then by a general manager who presided over -- and was responsible for -- some of the darkest times in franchise history.

In some instances, the players the Penguins had -- and the ones they wish they'd had -- share a set of parents. In others, the players have nothing in common except a surname and a profession.

A comprehensive list would threaten to fill this page, if not the average billboard, so some pairings (John and Al Arbour, Harvey and Curt Bennett, Chris and Curtis Joseph, Bernie and Morris Lukowich, for starters) had to be exorcised, leaving this representative list of players the Penguins had. And the ones they can only wish they'd gotten.

To wit:

Phil Bourque. He was an effective role player and his brother, Ray, probably is a swell guy, but the Raymond Bourque who played for Boston and Colorado was one of the finest defensemen in NHL history.

Rusty Fitzgerald. OK, so Tom Fitzgerald isn't a star, but he's been far more productive than Rusty. He's gritty, a great leader and a good guy to have around when you need a 59 1/2-foot goal in a decisive playoff game.

Eddie Gilbert. His name was pronounced Gil-bert, not Zheel-bair. No matter how you say it, though, Rod Gilbert would have been a far greater asset.

Kevin Hatcher. If brother Derian's mean streak and toughness had been congenital, Kevin Hatcher might have a closet full of Norris Trophies. And he wouldn't be in forced retirement.

Jamie Leach. His dad, Reggie, was known as The Rifleman. Jamie barely qualified as a popgun.

Kevin and Kip Miller. Their combined career output of 197 goals barely matches the production of their brother, Kelly, the only one of the three who didn't work here.

Dmitri Mironov. Boris Mironov's inconsistency has exasperated many observers in Chicago. Watching his brother Dmitri try to commit hockey would have convinced them to move to Iowa.

Rich Parent. Too bad his nickname, not his first name, was "Bernie."

Sean Pronger. Chris Pronger is arguably the top defenseman in the NHL. Sean is undeniably, uh, his brother.

Al Smith. He was feisty and entertaining. Billy Smith was feisty, entertaining and a four-time Stanley Cup champion.

Rich Sutter. There were six hockey-playing Sutter brothers. The Penguins would have been far better off with Duane. Or Darryl. Or Brian. Or Brent. Or Ron. Or their mom, Grace, for that matter.

Considering all of that, it's hard to believe that Bryan Trottier -- not his little brother, Rocky -- spent part of his Hall of Fame career as a member of the Penguins.

Of course, they could have played it safe and made room on their depth chart for each of the Trottier boys. After all, no one complained about how it worked out when they did that with Alain Lemieux and his little brother.

Trivia question

What is the franchise record for the fastest two goals by a defenseman?

Standings watchers

The Penguins don't have to use much energy to figure out how their season is going. All they have to do is open the newspaper to the NHL standings every morning.

That lets them know precisely how many points separate them from the top eight teams in the Eastern Conference, how great the challenge of qualifying for the Stanley Cup playoffs for the 12th year in a row will be.

The players, though, insist that they don't obsess over the standings or spend a lot of time doing the math on just what kind of surge it will take to be part of the postseason.

"I don't think you can ignore them, but I don't really live by them," center Robert Lang said. "You just kind of know where you're at, and the coaches let you know where you're at."

Defenseman Darius Kasparaitis believes there's no point in monitoring the standings, that the Penguins should focus simply on earning two points every time they have a game.

"I don't think we want to look at the standings," he said. "We just want to play and win hockey games. When we start doing that, things are going to change."

Very little difference

The Penguins were matched against one of the league's elite clubs when Philadelphia visited Mellon Arena last night. When a team puts together an eight-game winning streak, like the one the Flyers brought to town, it has a lot more going for it than simply good fortune.

Still, most Penguins believe that teams such as the Flyers and Detroit -- the ones who have seemingly unlimited resources, and who generally spend their money wisely -- constitute a tiny minority, that the disparity in talent between most other clubs is not that great.

"There definitely are the superpower teams," defenseman Andrew Ference said. "But I really think the teams and players in this league are fairly equal, and whoever shows up the best [on a given] night can win, whether you're a last-place team or a first-place team. There's not that much separation."

Crazy lines game

Rick Kehoe has faced a lot of challenges in his first three months as a head coach in the NHL. The biggest might be keeping track of the forward line combinations he's using in a given game, because Kehoe has put his centers and wingers together in just about every conceivable way since he succeeded Ivan Hlinka.

A few -- Jan Hrdina-Robert Lang-Alexei Kovalev is the best example -- have been highly effective. Some, like Dan Lacouture-Mario Lemieux-Aleksey Morozov, have shown promise. Most have fizzled, flopped and faded from memory in a matter of days.

"You see a little light, at times, where three guys are working together and they're getting some good scoring chances," Kehoe said. "All of a sudden, you hope that [gives] the confidence they need to put them over, not only as a individual scorer, but as a line."

While there is less urgency to switch things up when a team is winning, Kehoe contends he won't be shy about reconfiguring his lines until he comes up with some consistently effective units.

"We're going to keep at it," he said. "As a coaching staff, we're going to keep changing them, get something where some guys can produce playing together."

Trivia answer

Darryl Edestrand beat Boston goalie Gerry Cheevers twice in nine seconds in a 4-4 tie with the Bruins March 12, 1972, the fastest two goals by a Penguins defenseman.