Given that NHL games are averaging only 5.18 goals, the lowest mark in five decades, we could spend our midyear report describing -- in vivid detail -- every goal.
But in the interest of filling out this column space, let's simply go upstairs for a best-and-worst review of a season that reached halftime at 1:17 a.m. yesterday.
Best team: Red Wings. No one does it better. Any of it.
Worst team: Thrashers. Still, how much would you give for the local club to have one draft pick with a fraction of the potential of Ilya Kovalchuk or Dany Heatley?
Best forward: Jarome Iginla, Flames. It always takes power forwards a bit longer, but Iginla was worth the wait. He is quick, slick and thick as a brick.
Worst forward: Valeri Kamensky, Stars. The return on Dallas' $1.2 million investment: 24 games, three goals, six assists, 16 healthy scratches, one successful trip through waivers.
Best defenseman: Brian Leetch, Rangers. Might we be watching the greatest American player in history? Ask again after the Olympics.
Worst defenseman: Mike Wilson, Wilkes-Barre/Scranton Penguins. No one is paid more to do less. Owner of a freshly signed deal worth $2.65 million over three years, he is being booed by the home crowd across the state.
Best goaltender: Mike Richter, Rangers. Forget the numbers. No one is busier, no one is better. And be sure that no one will feel more of a burden in Salt Lake City.
Worst goaltender: Arturs Irbe, Hurricanes. "Like Wall" has become "Like Bench" in meekly losing his job to Tom Barrasso.
Best coach: Brian Sutter, Blackhawks. The most dramatic turnaround in the NHL is the result of simple fundamentals: Check, skate and shoot. No trap.
Worst coach: Marc Crawford, Canucks. Check out that team's speed and skill level, then explain why it never seems to improve.
Best statistic: The Bruins are the little train that could, leading the NHL in shots with 1,397 but ranking among the worst at finishing, converting 8.1 percent.
Worst statistic: There were 101 shutouts, meaning one in six games ended with one team laying an egg on the scoreboard. That's how to sell the sport.
Best moment: Ron Francis' 500th goal Wednesday in Raleigh. Get a good look at players such as Francis, Steve Yzerman, Joe Sakic and the like. The way the game is going, it could be another generation before anyone sniffs their remarkable numbers.
Worst moment: Seeing Martin Straka make that backward spill.
Best comeback: Bryan Berard, Rangers. No one would have imagined after his eye injury two seasons ago he could return.
Worst comeback: Mario Lemieux's early return. For a November game in Tampa, no less.
Best arena: Skyreach Centre, Edmonton. Yes, it's old, drab and has creaky seats, but it's got the best ice surface on the planet. That does far more to entertain the fans than complimentary pretzels.
Worst arena: First Union Center, Philadelphia, for the reverse reason. That's not ice. It's Slurpee.
Best move: Everything done by Glen Sather. He was criticized for everything from acquiring Eric Lindros to failing to get Jaromir Jagr to hanging onto Vladimir Malakhov. And look at the fun, fast, high-octane outfit he has built.
Worst move: The Canadiens' eye-popping signing of Patrice Brisebois to a four-year deal worth $16.5 million last month. This after a minus-31 season and comments criticizing the fans for booing him.
Best quote: Sergei Zubov, Stars, on the damage the trap- happy NHL is doing to youngsters new to the sport: "They're learning how to play defense, not how to play the game. I see this. I see it everywhere. This hurts me."
Worst quote: Gary Bettman, NHL commissioner, on diminishing scoring: "We're losing one goal every three or four games. I don't view that as that big of a deal. Do we want 7-1, 8-2 games?"
Dejan Kovacevic can be reached at dkovacevic@ post-gazette.com.