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Sunday, August 19, 2001

Like everyone else, The Guy In The Stands laughed at Pedro Martinez's line that night. It was May 30 and Martinez, with the swagger of a young gun that had just shot down the hated New York Yankees, 3-0, reacted to the 5,782nd question of the day about that highly illogical, highly held-to New England tradition known as "The Curse of the Bambino."

Exclaimed Martinez: "I don't believe in curses. Wake up the damn Bambino. Maybe I'll drill him in the [butt]."

Every writer facing a deadline that night said "Yes! Thank you, God!" Who took the time to consider the celestial ramifications? The Red Sox, without Nomar Garciaparra, were 28-22 and in a virtual dead heat with the Yankees. Their ace was 7-1. Manny Ramirez looked like Carl Yastrzemski circa 1967. All signs pointed to a good summer.

Isn't that always the way in any of those late-night horror flicks ... right before the local grocery store bagger revs up the Poulan?

The Guy thought about Martinez's comments this week as the Red Sox, who as recently as June 22 were four games in front, fell six games out of first in the American League East -- their deepest hole of the season -- and as the last of a 10-game wild-card lead over the Athletics dissolved in the blink of a sweep.

He thought about them some more Thursday when the Red Sox fired Jimy Williams. Everywhere but Boston, Williams was hailed as manager of the year for keeping together a team that had used the disabled list 23 times, endured Carl Everett's moods, his head-butting and his crotch-grabbing, withstood the absences of Martinez and Garciaparra, employed almost as many different lineups as their 120-something games and cobbled the fourth-best ERA in the American League (3.95) out of a pitching staff that has had to use nine different arms in the starting rotation.

Is the cause-and-effect beginning to crystalize?

Within 10 days of taking on The Babe, reports filtered out of Boston that Martinez's shoulder -- fine and healthy through April and May -- was hurting.

The Guy checked the figures.

Martinez hasn't won since that night in Fenway Park. Has thrown only 22 2/3 innings since then, in fact. And not a single pitch since June 26 -- two days before he went on the disabled list -- when he couldn't last five innings against the Devil Rays, the worst team in the major leagues. In two pre-Bambino Challenge starts against the Rays, Martinez had struck out 29.

You simply don't tug on Superman's cape, you don't spit into the wind, and you don't challenge the gods.

You can say you're going to drill Rickey Henderson and all you'll get is a two-game suspension. But noogie the ghost of The Babe, tell him you want to imprint Rawlings backwards across his ample backside, and, well ... all The Guy can do is light a candle, rub the plate in Don Zimmer's head and ask where to send flowers.

If nothing else, the story is fun to believe. There is, in fact, something poetic about being able to write off a century's worth of foibles and faux pas off to "The Curse." The alternative? The pedestrian explanations for why the locals are 32 games under .500 for the first time since "Coke here!" had a whole other meaning at Pirates games.

Even new manager Joe Kerrigan couldn't become the club's 42nd manager in its storied history without acknowledging the dear ol' Sox fortunes since that day in 1918 when Harry Frazee in effect traded Babe Ruth for "No-No Nanette."

"It's one of the best jobs in sports for me to be able to come in here and chase away The Curse. I look forward to the challenge."

Memo to Joe: The Curse will be an admirable foe. It always is.

For you who still can't open your mind and believe, The Guy proposes this essay test of baseball illogic. No 2. pencils ready? 1) Explain Keith Osik's four-RBI performance last Sunday against San Diego. 2) Explain Giants pitcher Livan Hernandez's 12 hits in 13 at-bats going into his start Friday vs. Atlanta. 3) Explain an Arizona rookie with fewer than 25 big-league starts going 5 for 5 last Sunday vs. Greg Maddux.

And if you're still not convinced that something supernatural is at work in Boston, The Guy will leave you with one indisputable fact:

Williams' firing came on the 53rd anniversary of the death of ... Babe Ruth.

Bubba-licious

Greg Maddux's recent NL-record string of 72 1/3 innings without issuing a walk cast the spotlight on the career of journeyman Bill Fischer (45-58 career), who set the major-league record of 84 consecutive innings with the 1962 Kansas City A's. Among the useless bits of trivia uncovered: Did you know that Fischer's streak began Aug. 3 after he walked Cleveland's Bubba Phillips and ended Sept. 30 when he walked Bubba Morton? What are the odds? Then again, what are the odds that a man nicknamed Bubba would have made it to the White House (excluding, of course, those wearing Elmer Fudd hunting caps and wielding semi-automatic weapons) before the end of the 20th century?

Lowering the K-boom

Oh, the joy! Oh, the rapture! Having contributed 23 strikeouts to the Randy Johnson-Curt Schilling Oh-Just-Shoot-Me-And-Get-It-Over-With Batters Abuse Fund in Phoenix this week, the Pirates get to come home and face them again. Schilling (18-5) is likely to start Tuesday and Johnson (16-5) Thursday in the Diamondbacks' only 2001 visit to PNC Park.

"How many times in history has somebody had two guys who are kind of front-runners for the Cy Young?" marveled Arizona first baseman Mark Grace after Schilling struck out 13 in beating the Pirates, 5-1, Wednesday. Two nights earlier, Johnson struck out 10 in shutting them out, 3-0.

History has seen few strikeout tandems like them. Johnson has a major-league best 277; Schilling is second with 224. Their 501 Ks put them within, ahem, striking distance of the all-time record set by the California Angels' Nolan Ryan and Bill Singer in 1973.

The all-time strikeout tandems:

Better with age

It's getting more and more difficult to tell all the elite fraternities Yankees great Roger Clemens belongs to without color-coded pledge pins. He became only the sixth pitcher since 1900 to have a 16-1 record after beating the Devil Rays, 10-3, Wednesday and the first in 32 years. The others: Dave McNally (1969), ElRoy Face (1959), Don Newcombe (1955), Guy Bush (1929) and Rube Marquard (1912). Does The Guy need to remind anyone that Clemens is 39? Face, 31 in 1959, was the previous oldest to do it.

Series of the week

Cardinals (66-55 through Friday) at Cubs (68-52), Friday-Sunday. ... Friday WGN-TV (3:20 p.m.), Saturday WPGH-TV (1:15 p.m.), Sunday WGN-TV (2:20 p.m.). ... Resurgent St. Louis, winners of nine in a row going into last night, had pulled back within 3 games of first in the NL Central. ... Despite the unbalanced schedule, this is their final meeting of the season. Season series is tied, 7-7. ... Cubs pitcher Kerry Wood (10-6, 3.50 ERA) is scheduled to come off the DL and start Tuesday, meaning he could pitch the series finale. ... In beating Houston Wednesday, Jon Lieber (16-5) became only the fourth Cubs pitcher since WWII to be 11 games over .500 on or before Aug. 15.

This 'n' that

Reds first baseman Sean Casey (Upper St. Clair) has had four hitting streaks of 10 games or better this season. The only others with four or more are Seattle's Ichiro Suzuki and Detroit's Roger Cedeno. ... So what wows the wower? Konishiki, the retired supreme champion of Japanese sumo wrestling visited Safeco Field last week and stopped Ichiro in his tracks. "Konishiki? Here? Wow! He was a great one." ... With 150 strikeouts already, Atlanta's John Burkett (Beaver) established a career high. He had 145 in 1993 with the Giants. ... FYI: Gene Lamont was under consideration for the Red Sox managing job before it was given to Joe Kerrigan ... Both ex-Pirates paid dividends for the Giants this week. Tuesday, Jason Schmidt (2-1 since the trade) beat Florida, 13-7, and Wednesday, and John Vander Wal doubled home the winning run with two outs in the ninth to beat the Marlins, 2-1. ... The Phillies have four players -- Bobby Abreu (87), Scott Rolen (79), Travis Lee (77) and Pat Burrell (72) -- on pace to knock in 90 runs for the first time since 1929.

Shot and a jeer

Shot: Said Oakland's Terrence Long, after signing a four-year contract extension worth $11.6 million Tuesday: "I'll earn some money, I'll learn the game and hopefully down the road I'll get a chance to sign a real big contract." Remember when $11.6 million was a real big contract?

Jeer: Memo to Carl Everett, who grabbed his crotch while looking at Mariners pitcher Jamie Moyer after homering Tuesday: Never let it be said the man doesn't use his brain.

Box score lines of the week:

So much for a pregame routine? Because of an injury, he found out just 10 minutes before first pitch that he was starting.

Yes, Livan Hernandez: The Pitcher. It gave him eight consecutive hits dating to his last AB July 31 vs. the Pirates. For perspective, eight-time batting champ Tony Gwynn had eight consecutive hits only once among his 3,136.

OK, it was his first appearance in 14 months. But on the bright side, he can only get better.