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Sunday, July 22, 2001

Dodgers $105 million man Kevin Brown left the game last Sunday against the Pirates with a sprained right elbow and won't return before the middle of August. For Boston's Pedro Martinez, it could be Labor Day. For L.A.'s Darren Dreifort next July.

Makes The Guy In The Stands wonder which body part a pitching-poor general manager would lop off to have Tony Mullane on his roster. It was 119 years ago Wednesday that Mullane, a right-handed pitcher for Louisville, abruptly switched to his left hand in the fourth inning of a game against Baltimore. Mullane lost, 9-8. But if that matters, you've missed the point.

Imagine the possibilities. Blow out your right elbow in the sixth inning trying to blow high cheese by Mark McGwire? No problem. Switch to the left. Batter up. Easy as flipping to four-wheel drive on the family SUV. Because Mullane did not pitch with a glove, batters might not know which hand the ball was coming from.

Now, because of things called torn labrums and frayed rotator cuffs and a surgery named after a pitcher, managers often don't know whose hand they're giving the ball to from night to night.

Such uncertainty makes Red Sox GM Dan Duquette look like the genius he thinks he is for assembling a pool of spare pitching parts in the off-season that during spring training resembled the front yard of a double-wide in Bluefield, W.Va. High-mileage Hideo Nomo. Rust-bucket Pete Schourek. Cranky Rolando Arrojo. At one point, there were 10 pitchers with the club who were in starting rotations in 2000.

With Martinez throwing only 22 2/3 innings since Memorial Day and none since June 26, Duquette's junkyard is looking pretty good sitting there at 55-40 entering the weekend, a game behind the New York Yankees in the AL East and even with Cleveland atop the wild-card standings.

Surprising? One big-league front-office type told Gordon Edes of the Boston Globe recently that "if they're still in it without Pedro, then maybe they're the greatest team that ever played."

Hyperbole aside, if the Red Sox are able to bridge the sweltering chasm of July and August that has claimed so many postseason dreams and survive until Martinez returns, it just might be because Duquette had in his junkyard a couple of neglected classics named David Cone, 38, and Bret Saberhagen, 37. Cone, who the Yankees gave up on. Saberhagen, who the Red Sox didn't give up on even though he hasn't pitched in 22 months.

They aren't Tony Mullane -- Saberhagen is still working his way back from shoulder surgery in 1999 -- but they give Manager Jimy Williams two arms that would look pretty good to the Dodgers or Indians about now.

Given the choice, who would you prefer to plug in until your ace returns: a healthy Cone and his four World Series rings? Or, as the Dodgers did Thursday against Milwaukee, Dennis Springer and his 4-5 record at Class AAA Las Vegas? That's like going to an oldies show and finding out that Simon & Garfunkel had been replaced by The Monkees.

"Like everything else, success breeds confidence. And when Coney steps on the mound we have a good feeling we're going to win the ballgame," said Boston's Dante Bichette after beating Toronto, 5-4, Wednesday.

It's more than just a feeling, which must make George Steinbrenner feel something, too. Ill perhaps as he recognizes the irony of his one-time ace helping his fiercest rival. Through Wednesday's game, the Red Sox have won Cone's past nine starts. Since being inserted into the rotation May 17, the man whose abilities Steinbrenner ceased to believe in is 5-1 with a 4.23 ERA. He is certainly more like the pitcher who has won 189 games than the pitcher that went 4-14 with a 6.23 ERA for the Yankees last season.

"I think all of us feel we need to step up and make up for [Martinez's] absence," Cone said.

If Saberhagen has his way, he will get his chance before the month is out. He was scheduled to make another rehab start for Class AAA Pawtucket yesterday. His fastball is consistently in the low 90s. Once he proves he can go five or six innings, the Red Sox will activate him.

"Those two together in our rotation, on the bench, in the clubhouse. It's very valuable," said outfielder Trot Nixon.

"These guys have been around. They have Cy Youngs in their hands. They have World Series rings. They've seen things. They know how to win. ... They're the kind of guys you would like to grow to be like."

They're the reason the Red Sox won't be mentioned when talk turns to pitching as next week's trade deadline approaches. They made their deals months ago and trumped sight unseen whoever the lucky bidders turn out to be for Pedro Astacio or Jason Schmidt. But buyer beware: Dennis Springer is already off the market.

Johnson & Johnson

As in life, one day in baseball is often the same as the next. And then there was Wednesday. A game was postponed because of a train derailment (Baltimore). Another when a transformer blew (San Diego). The Astros and Cardinals abused Enron Field for a stadium-record 28 runs (Astros 17, Cardinals 11, although Jim Hart was driving St. Louis for the winning TD when the umpires reached their pitch count). Houston's Jeff Bagwell hit for the cycle. Barry Bonds hit two homers to move into a tie for ninth all-time with Mickey Mantle.

But nothing matches the trick that Arizona pulled on the Padres. Just when the Padres thought they'd dodged 13-game winner Curt Schilling when the lights went out Wednesday, Arizona Manager Bob Brenly sent out major-league strikeout leader Randy Johnson in relief when the game resumed Thursday.

The Padres would have had a better chance hitting in the dark on Wednesday. Johnson, making only the ninth relief appearance of his career and first since 1997, struck out 16 in seven innings. A record for a reliever. Over one stretch, he struck out seven in a row in Arizona's 3-0 win.

"He might be the best long man in baseball, huh?" joked Brenly.

But The Guy, with his perverse enjoyment in all things trivial, most delighted in not the number of strikeouts but in the bit of surname symmetry Johnson achieved. The previous record for strikeouts by a "reliever" was held by Walter Johnson, who struck out 15 July 25, 1913. Thus, one Johnson replaces another in the books. Or, if in an even freakier bit of historical oddballism, The Big Unit replaces ... The Big Train.

"You pitch good today and you pitch like [expletive] five days ago, and now you're bringing my name up with Walter Johnson," he said. "That's how funny this game is."

The Guy certainly thinks so.

The breaks of the game

The latest Enron Field tale that has fans and players shaking their bats in disbelief occurred not in Wednesday night's 17-11 Astros romp, but four days before. The bases were loaded. The Padres had a 4-3 lead and shortstop Damian Jackson was up. Jackson worked the count against Astros starter Wade Miller to 2-0, then connected with a Miller fastball. Crack. Literally. The barrel of the bat flew toward third ... and the ball flew over the wall for a grand slam in a game the Padres eventually won, 8-6. The fence over which he hit it is 330 feet from home plate. Jackson's slam went 330 feet, 6 inches give or take a few inches.

"It's a joke," Jackson told the San Diego Union-Tribune. "But if it helps everyone else ... why shouldn't I get a chance to benefit from it?"

The kicker: Jackson was almost positive the bat was broken before he went to the plate.

Bad form

Those talking heads on the all-sports cable networks can be funny fellas. And then there was Wednesday. In showing highlights of that night's Phillies-Expos game in which Philadelphia third base coach John Vukovich was ejected, James Duthie of TSN -- a Canadian all-sports channel -- suggested that perhaps umpire Angel Hernandez didn't like Vukovich's hairstyle. Ouch! Vukovich had surgery May 8 to remove part of a brain tumor and has had subsequent radiation treatment. He has two large shaved areas on the back of his head as a result. TSN has apologized.

Zip codes anonymous

We listened all week to Fred McGriff discuss his need for family and home. Maybe we should have spent more time delving into the wants and needs of pitcher Manny Aybar, the Cubs farmhand who would have gone to Tampa Bay as part of the deal for McGriff. In the past 21 months, Aybar has been traded from St. Louis to Colorado to Cincinnati to Florida to Chicago, with stops in Class AAA Louisville and Iowa tossed in. Makes The Guy wonder how his $600 rebate check from George W. will ever find him.

This 'n' that

Mets Manager Bobby Valentine Valentine earned his 1,000th win as a manager July 14, making him the third-youngest to reach the milestone. Only Tony La Russa (46) and Tom Kelly (49) were younger. ... Moises Alou's 23-game hitting streak that ended Thursday surpassed the longest of his father Felipe's career, which was 22 in 1968. ... Arizona's Mark Grace struck out in five consecutive games July 5-12. He had not fanned in five consecutive games since Aug. 16-20, 1991. ... When Mike Piazza hit his 300th homer as a catcher July 12, he joined Johnny Bench (389), Carlton Fisk (376), Yogi Berra (358), Gary Carter (324) and Lance Parrish (324) as the only catchers who have reached the milestone.

Shot and a jeer

Shot: Correct The Guy if he's wrong, but Cardinals pitcher Rick Ankiel would seem to be the biggest loser in baseball's decision not to force umpires to call more strikes.

Jeer: Pitch counts on umpires. Bud Selig and Sandy Alderson backed away from the idea, but not, The Guy suspects, because they think the idea is necessarily bad. But rather, because for once, they saw players, managers, umpires, fans and even sports writers agree on something. And that, as Julius Caesar, Napoleon and Richard Nixon found out, can never be good.

Box score lines of the week:

Single, double, triple and home run. It's said hitting for the cycle is more rare than a no-hitter. At last check, the 2001 box score reads: Cycles 3, No-hitters 2.

His night left him 0 for 18, the worst slump of his career in any country. His previous worst: 17 plate appearances with the Orix Blue Wave in 1999.

Apparently, he didn't believe his parents when they told him listening to Black Sabbath would ruin his life. Since flying back to Atlanta to hear Ozzy & Co. July 7, then returning to Cleveland in time for the next day's game, he has allowed 6 earned runs in 2 2/3 innings (20.22 ERA), lost all three games he has appeared in and finally his closer's job.