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Sunday, July 15, 2001

For an indication of how he felt about his performance in the first half, Jason Kendall opened his pay envelope Friday and placed it inside his locker.

"I should give it back," Kendall mused.

Nobody is looking forward to the second half more than Kendall, whose misery hit a career low because the Pirates endured their worst first half since 1985 and he hit about 60 points lower than his career batting average.

"I struggled. I let my team down, let the organization down, and most of all, I let the fans down," Kendall said.

He doesn't need to hear any chirping about his numbers, especially those relating to the $60 million contract extension that kicks in next year, because Kendall is his harshest critic. The same clenched-teeth intensity he brings to every at-bat is applied to his own performance.

"That's what makes me tick," said Kendall, who hasn't complained about battling everything from a strained ligament in his catching thumb since the home opener to the grass infield at PNC Park that swallows ground balls that would have been base hits on turf.

Manager Lloyd McClendon finds such an attitude commendable, but he also hopes Kendall keeps things in perspective.

"His intensity is almost scary," McClendon said. "In this game, you're never as bad as you think you are and never as good as you think you are. I've said all along that when it's over, Jason Kendall will put up the type of numbers we know he's capable of."

McClendon was among those who wanted Kendall to get baseball off his mind over the break. And for the first time in his career, Kendall did just that, other than watching teammate Brian Giles bat on TV in the All-Star Game.

The result? Kendall pronounced himself refreshed and rejuventated when he put the armor back on last week.

"This was the first All-Star break I had a chance to get away and really not think about baseball," Kendall said. "The first half was the most frustrating thing I've ever been through. It's a learning experience to have to deal with it. It really is. There were definitely a lot of sleepless nights."

But Kendall never loses sight of how lucky he is to do what he is doing -- play major-league baseball

"I'm going to have a better second half. I know I am. It was good for me to get away for three days," he said.

Grass is always greener

Remember those early games at PNC Park when the ball seemed to jump out of the place and there were fears it would become a launching pad?

"It's a pitcher's park," said Giles. "Unless you hit it right down the lines, it's a big park. The grass is very long (1 1/2 inches now, compared to 1 3/4 inches when the place opened), and it's tough to get ground balls through it to get hits. I think the ball carried better when it was colder.

"You have to hit the ball well to get it out of here."

Giles has played left and center field at PNC Park. He has seen fly balls that seem to hit a dead spot near the outfield fences that causes them to fall straight down. And while the place seems small because it's so cozy, the outfield is spacious.

"When I go out there to set up, I look back at the wall and it looks like it's forever," Giles laughed. "If I go back any farther and look back in, I can't see Jack Wilson [over the grass]."

Major adjustment

The biggest difference Rob Mackowiak sees between Nashville and the major leagues is the quality of the pitching, not so much in the starters, but in the relief pitchers that big-league clubs can bring in late in games.

"Don't get me wrong, the starters are good," said Mackowiak, who was hitting .287 in 41 games going into the weekend. "But late in games, you see somebody from the bullpen who's throwing nasty sliders and bringing it 97 mph. That's the thing you don't see in the minors."