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Sunday, April 15, 2001

Fog descended on Jacobs Field in Cleveland April 6, halting the Indians-Orioles game in the sixth inning for eight minutes. "As weird as it's ever been here," said Indians first baseman Jim Thome.

Then, as suddenly as it blew in, the fog blew out and life returned to normal. Juan Gonzalez and Thome homered on consecutive pitches and the Indians went on to beat the Orioles, 4-3.

Except, The Guy In The Stands has seen enough Wes Craven movies to know that fog never leaves behind a world quite as normal as it was before. Husbands sleep with chainsaws. Children worship corn. Moviegoers fork over $44.5 million to see "Spy Kids."

How else do you explain some of the things we saw in ballparks the past week?

Saturday: The Expos (4-1 NL East) and Twins (3-1 AL Central), who, if they combined their payrolls would still only be 18th highest in the major leagues, end the first week of the season leading their divisions.

Sunday: Dodgers second baseman Mark Grudzielanek, who would earn almost as many points (27) using his last name in a game of Scrabble than he had home runs (33) in six previous seasons, homers in his fourth consecutive game. "Who wouldn't be surprised?" marvels Grudzielanek.

Monday: The Twins, who hit a major-league low 116 homers in 2000, hit two in an 11-5 home-opening win against Detroit. By week's end, they have 13, tied for fifth in the American League. "We're just trying to get good swings," says pitcher Joe Mays. "Home runs are accidents." To that, Colorado's Larry Walker will attest. He homers off St. Louis' Andy Benes with a broken bat. Only the stub remains in hand as the ball disappears. "I'm glad it happened here and not at Coors Field because then it would be leading off ESPN tonight."

Tuesday: Phillies' third baseman Scott Rolen snaps an 0-for-19 slump with a homer and two-run double in a 7-6 win against Florida, then credits his dog. "I started settling in after I thought of Enis. He brings me to a better place."

Wednesday: Mark McGwire belts his first home run in the Cardinals eighth game. Nothing to inspire Stephen King here, right? Wrong. McGwire (1) ends the night trailing former Pirates backup catcher Tom Prince, who hits his second in the Twins' 12-1 rout of Detroit. In case you wondered, McGwire still holds a slight career advantage: 555-13.

Thursday: The day produces a score line from Toronto's SkyDome you don't see every day: Royals at Blue Jays, ppd. falling roof. As SkyDome officials were closing the roof about 3:15 p.m., two of the moveable panels went too far. Here, The Guy turns the floor over to Kansas City's Mike Sweeney. "Sounded like a 12-car collision on the I-70."

Friday: Somehow we make it to the end of the week. While the Expos (6-3) have dropped back (behind the Phillies?), we wake up to find the Twins (6-2) still atop the AL Central.

What has the fog wrought?

Now, OK, this week will likely be forgotten by August, but ... this is the weekend to remember the greatest miracle known to the Christian world. And if a single carpenter can be raised in Jerusalem, who's to say Twins can't be raised in Minneapolis?

Oh say, can you sea?

Sheldon Ocker, longtime Indians beat writer for the Akron Beacon Journal, recalled a similar game at old Municipal Stadium in 1986 when fog forced a game between the Red Sox and Indians to be called with Boston ahead. Boston starter Oil Can Boyd told reporters afterward that the Indians deserved to lose. "That's what they get for putting the stadium next to the ocean." The Guy can only assume he was a geography classmate of Bubby Brister's.

Empty handed

The first-inning home run ball Cincinnati's Sean Casey hit to baptize PNC Park Monday won't be the only ball missing from his personal trophy case. Casey also collected the first hit at Milwaukee's Miller Park three days earlier -- a single to center leading off the second inning against Jeff D'Amico. "They sent that ball to the Hall of Fame. That was even cooler," says Casey. FYI: Casey (Upper St. Clair) has an upcoming "first" he will get to keep. His wife is three months pregnant with their first child.

Remembering Willie

Former Pirates Manager Chuck Tanner spun the tale often Monday at PNC Park in the wake of Willie Stargell's death from a stroke earlier that morning. The Pirates were in Montreal in 1978 and Stargell was having a terrible day. "He couldn't hit [Expos pitcher] Wayne Twitchell. He just couldn't hit him," Tanner recalled.

"It was getting late and Willie was on deck. I had to do something. So I ran out to the umpire and complained that Twitchell was loading, that he was using a foreign substance. Now, of course he wasn't. But it made Twitch very nervous and kind of messed up. Well, Willie hit a ball so far it went to Pittsburgh."

Actually, it was measured at 535 feet, still the longest ball hit at Olympic Stadium. The Expos painted the seat where it hit yellow. Monday night, they had a moment of silence in his honor, then shone a spotlight on the seat where a flower had been placed.

Fool-hearty

Seven-time Japanese League batting champion Ichiro Suzuki (.341, 8 runs), a rookie outfielder with the Mariners, is serious news in his home country. Perhaps too serious.

The press contingent following the club includes nearly two dozen reporters and photographers from Japan who quite literally have reported on his every move since spring training. They go so far as to count every ball he hits -- and doesn't hit -- in batting practice. And when Suzuki's wife visited him, the writers analyzed his batting practice swings before spousal visit and after.

So you can imagine the contingent's stunned horror when on April 1, Mariners Manager Lou Piniella told reporters he was "benching" Suzuki (albeit only for an exhibition game with the Cardinals).

Then Piniella laughed and said: "April Fool's!"

Pardon the writers if they couldn't appreciate Piniella's levity. Their translater needed several minutes to explain put the American concept of April Fool's into Japanese.

This 'n' that

Florida's Matt Clement (Butler) drew raves after allowing one run and four hits in eight innings in his second Marlins start last Sunday -- a 6-1 win vs. Atlanta. "That was frightening stuff," said Marlins Manager John Boles. ... Scott Seabol (South Allegheny) got his first at-bat in a Yankees uniform last Sunday. He pinch-hit for David Justice and popped to second against Toronto's Lance Painter. ...

Darryl Strawberry is the subject of a "60 Minutes" interview tonight (7 p.m., KDKA). ... As part of a tribute to Willie Stargell, ESPN Classic will show Game 7 of the 1979 World Series at 9 p.m. tomorrow. ... Luis Gonzalez has been nothing if not efficient. He has 14 hits through the first two weeks of the season, nine for home runs to lead the major leagues. ... The Astros expect to have starting pitcher Shane Reynolds (knee) and outfielder Moises Alou (calf) back for the series at PNC Park that begins tomorrow. ...

The Royals-Yankees season series is over already. The Yankees won all six games by a combined 46-19. After the fourth game, a reporter asked Royals Manager Tony Muser if there was anything positive about the loss. Responded Muser: "Nobody got injured." ... Did you realize that Boston's Hideo Nomo is only the second pitcher to throw no-hitters in two centuries? The first: Cy Young. ... Headline in the San Diego Union-Tribune after the Giants got two home runs each from Jeff Kent and Armando Rios to beat the Padres in San Diego's home opener in front of 61,277 fans this week: PAIR BEATS FULL HOUSE.

Shot and a jeer

Shot: Phil Sheridan, Philadelphia Inquirer, in assessing President Bush's ceremonial first pitch at Miller Park last week that bounced on its way to the plate: "After a recount in Dade [County], it was a 92-mph heater right down Broadway."

Jeer: Fans in Oakland's Network Associates Coliseum reportedly threw coins at Mariners rookie Ichiro Suzuki while he stood in right field Tuesday. There is, however, no truth to the report that Oakland management ordered groundskeepers to collect the stray quarters and dimes and deposit them directly to team coffers to apply toward next week's payroll.

His line can't be appreciated without a tip of the cap to Kevin Brown (8 IP, 3 H, 2 R, 1 ER, 8 Ks, 0 BB), who played most worthy foil. "That's Gibson vs. Drysdale," gushed Arizona first baseman Mark Grace.

Fitting that a .251 career hitter would tie a club record for RBIs held not by Cecil Cooper, Robin Yount or Boomer Scott, but by .231 career hitter Ted Kubiak (1970).

How often does a two-time Cy Young winner get touched for nine runs? Well, the Big Unit hadn't given up so many runs since surrendering 10 in 2 1/3 for Seattle vs. Toronto in April 1994.

Steve Ziants can be reached at sziants@post-gazette.com