Wednesday, October 08, 2003

I said to draft the goalie, and they did. I said to sign the goalie, and they did. Now it's time to relax, write some refreshing sports notes, and wait for Penguins season to start. I've done my part.

The Steelers are stockpiled with great linebackers at a time when the position has never meant less, and drunk with bad cornerbacks at a time when the position has never meant more. To offer a microcosm of proof, Kendrell Bell made a tackle for a loss and a tackle for no gain on consecutive plays during Cleveland's first possession on Sunday. That's not far from being as good as it gets for a linebacker. Problem is, Bell's efforts were sandwiched by a 23-yard completion and an 18-yard completion. No matter how well the Steelers linebackers play, they can't undo the damage done by the corners.

Actually, the Steelers linebackers could undo some of that damage by posting some sacks, hurrying some throws and hurting some quarterbacks. But as long as defensive coordinator Tim Lewis sticks primarily with a conservative four-man rush, that won't happen. Joey Porter, wired for sound Sunday by ESPN, was heard shouting, "Take the handcuffs off!" I concur.

If Tommy Maddox still has a license to sell insurance, he should take out a life policy on himself. You can never have enough coverage when you play behind Todd Fordham and Oliver Ross.

It was hilarious -- in a crotchety, pathetic kind of way -- when Joe Paterno said that sports writers don't know what they're talking about because they never played football. Paterno never played anything remotely resembling the game he coaches. When Paterno was on Brown University's team from 1947-49, football still featured leather helmets and the single-wing offense. Any sports writer who played high school football within the past 30 years has something on Paterno.

Penguins owner Mario Lemieux is on the hook for a three-year deal that could pay rookie goaltender Marc-Andre Fleury upwards of $15 million. But wait until Fleury finds out it's going to cost him $35,000 per week to live at Mario's house.

Kudos to new Penguins coach Ed Olczyk and his staff for running a smooth, organized training camp that featured all the efficiency of the Kevin Constantine era without the accompanying fascism. The Penguins might struggle because of a woeful defensive corps, but Olczyk's system will minimize the role of the defensemen and put the team in the best position to succeed. Unfortunately, talent usually tells.

One of the great success stories in Pittsburgh sports might turn out to be Penguins rookie Ryan Malone. I saw Malone play high school hockey for Upper St. Clair, and he was a skinny, gangly player who had a long way to go. Now he's a big, bruising power forward with surprising skill and touch. Malone is the son of the team's head scout, but he got his roster spot the old-fashioned way: He earned it.

By losing nine consecutive games in situations where they could have eliminated playoff opposition, the Oakland A's have earned the dubious title of worst chokers in sports history.

I don't blame Florida manager Jack McKeon for walking Barry Bonds eight times in the Florida-San Francisco National League Division Series. Such strategy is obviously permissible under the rules, and it worked. But fans don't buy tickets or turn on the TV to watch McKeon manage. They want to see Bonds bat. Baseball should adopt a rule that sends the batter to second base when he receives his third walk (intentional or otherwise) in the same game, and all the way to third for subsequent walks. Baseball, like so many other sports, needs to understand that it's in the entertainment business. If baseball doesn't adopt this rule, or one similar, the season will come when Bonds or a hitter like him is walked 300 times.

George Vecsey of the New York Times called the United States women's soccer team the "greatest national team ever to represent the U.S." So, what does that make the German women's soccer team? Now that some of the world's big-time soccer nations are taking the women's game seriously, the days of U.S. dominance are over. When you consider the exploits of the 1980 "Miracle on Ice" hockey team and the original U.S. basketball "Dream Team," the U.S. women's soccer team is far from being the "greatest national team ever to represent the U.S." But it is definitely the most overhyped.

I get livid when Mia Hamm is referred to as the "all-time leading international scorer for men's and women's soccer." The two games are unrelated. Pele, Hamm ain't. To compare Hamm to the retired Brazilian legend is a gratuitous insult to the sport itself. And if you gave him a sex change and U.S. citizenship, Pele would have found a way to score Sunday against Germany. Unlike Hamm, Pele saved his best for big games.

The cast of ESPN's Sunday NFL Countdown came across as cowards when they used part of this past week's show to verbally assail the freshly departed Rush Limbaugh. On the previous show, the same crew limply failed to address Limbaugh's contention that Donovan McNabb is overrated because the media wants to see a black quarterback succeed. Say what you will about Limbaugh, but at least he had the guts to speak his mind while those who might disagree were in the room.

Congratulations to Andre Agassi and Steffi Graf on the birth of their daughter, Jaz Elle. I expect their grandchild, the son of Jaz Elle, to settle in Smallville and grow up to be Superman.

Mark Madden is the host of a sports talk show from 3-7 p.m. weekdays on WEAE-AM (125).

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