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Wednesday, November 27, 2002

It's nice to think Randall Simon will become famous for something more than being called a "fat monkey" by bigot John Rocker.

It's nice to think Simon will pick up where he left off with the Detroit Tigers last season and become the left-handed power source the Pirates so desperately need.

It's nice to think Simon will make this Dave Littlefield trade look a little better than the last one Littlefield made for a left-handed bat.

Armando Rios, we hardly knew you!

No matter how the Simon deal works out -- on paper, it looks like a steal for the Pirates -- it's great to see Littlefield finally step up to the plate again, so to speak. It's about time he got around to addressing the Pirates' pathetic offense. He did wonders for the pitching last season by bringing in Kip Wells, Josh Fogg, Mike Williams, Brian Boehringer and Salomon Torres. He also improved the defense immensely by acquiring Pokey Reese, who had people saying his name in the same sentence with Bill Mazeroski's. But the best he could do for the offense -- the only thing, really -- was get Rios, who had twice as many serious injuries (two) as home runs (one) during his 1 1/2-year stay.

The Simon trade can't help but be better.

To begin with, look at the cost. The Pirates gave up virtually nothing -- minor-league pitcher Adrian Burnside and two other minor-leaguers to be determined. To get Rios and pitcher Ryan Vogelsong, whose elbow was injured almost immediately, the cursed Pirates had to give the San Francisco Giants free agent-to-be Jason Schmidt, who would have been a world champion and a World Series hero had the Giants protected that 5-0 lead in Game 6 against the Anaheim Angels.

It's amazing Littlefield was able to get Simon for so little. Simon hit .301 with 19 home runs and 82 RBIs last season, numbers that would have been better if the Tigers hadn't benched him for much of September to look at their younger players. The trade also is refreshing. We're used to seeing the Pirates dump a proven player for prospects. Is it possible the Tigers are in worse shape? Is it really possible they had to trade their MVP from last season because they didn't want to take him to arbitration and have to pay him $1.5 million next year?

Tigers people will tell you a different story, of course. They didn't like Simon's defense, which is why they didn't use him at first base after July. They didn't like the way he always seems to battling a weight problem. (See Rocker's slur above). They didn't like his instincts on the bases. They didn't like that he often is impatient at the plate. He walked just 13 times in 482 at-bats -- Barry Bonds walks that much in a three-game series -- and had a sorry .320 on-base percentage.

The bottom line?

The Tigers looked at Simon as a guy who can put up good numbers for a bad team but will never be a key player on a championship-caliber club.

Does that make him a perfect fit for the Pirates or what?

They're not looking to win a championship, merely to finish .500 for the first time in 11 years.

Simon's power numbers should improve at PNC Park with its short right-field porch. (Sure, Jim Thome would be better, but Kevin McClatchy doesn't have a spare $95 million or so). The Pirates also can cover for his defense -- "It's not as bad as it's been made out to be," Lloyd McClendon said yesterday -- by replacing him with Kevin Young late in games. Fans want the team to dump Young, but it's unrealistic to expect McClatchy to eat the $6 million he owes him for next season. Young also could give Simon days off against left-handed pitchers. He won't be worth the money, but something is better than nothing, isn't it?

"Somebody asked me the other day if this means the end of Kevin Young," McClendon said. "That's crazy. It reminds me of the situation with John Vander Wal [after the Pirates signed Derek Bell before the 2001 season]. People thought he was done with us, but he ended up playing a lot. Kevin Young will play a lot. I need all the major-league-ready players I can get."

Simon should fit in well with the Pirates, certainly better than Bell did. There will be no "Operation Shutdowns" with him. By all accounts, he's a great team guy who loves the game, especially the hitting part. He had plenty of chances to rip Tigers management for sitting him in September and costing him money in his next contract, but he refused to do it. He even refused to slash back at Rocker, a former teammate with the Atlanta Braves, after Rocker insulted him and most of America's clear thinkers with his racist, homophobic remarks after the 1999 season.

In retrospect, maybe being slandered by Rocker is the best endorsement of Simon.

If Rocker doesn't like you, you must be OK.