DEAR CAT: I opened a business about a year ago. In tough times, I think a business owner should be able to count on their friends and neighbors, but nobody has stopped by to wish me well or see my shop. I've supported my friends through divorces, dying parents, house fires, children with colic, buying Girl Scout cookies, everything. Now, even after inviting them, not one has showed! My neighbors are just as bad, yet for 20 years I've helped senior citizens, looked after local kids, etc. I'm not looking for people to buy, just to welcome me. They only come when they want sponsorships of their kids' teams or to say, "my best friend's cousin makes stuffed clowns and, boy, they'd look great in your shop." What gives? I am angry and feel abandoned. Some people say it's because of my race that the neighborhood doesn't support me. That may be true, but then what's the excuse for my friends? Do I confront them or my neighbors? -- NO SUPPORT IN THE CITY

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DEAR NO SUPPORT: A year is a shocking amount of time to pass without getting at least one visit from your friends. Perhaps they're just too wrapped up in their own lives to care. If so, they're really not your friends anymore. As for the neighbors, something is up if you've lived there 20 years and nobody patronizes your shop. It could be about race, but people with that brand of discrimination usually won't let you watch their kids. You have every right to ask your friends where they've been all this time, but unfortunately you can't do that with neighbors. Fair or not, people reserve the right to patronize whatever stores they want. A savvy local ad campaign could bring in fresh business and a fresh outlook. Plus, if your neighbors see your shop is attracting attention ...

CAT'S CALL: Chances are they'll finally try to cozy up to the owner.

DEAR CAT: If a good friend asks, "Does this outfit make me look fat?" is it ever OK to say, "Yes, in fact it does!" I know it's sticky with a boyfriend-girlfriend situation, but what about with friends? There are so many times I want to be honest, but I spare my friends the truth to spare their feelings. If you don't mind sharing ... are your friends honest with you, and do you appreciate it or get mad? -- TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH

DEAR TELL: Not only is it OK to be honest with your friends, it's the best thing! The exceptions (i.e. when little white lies are useful) are: 1) when you're not extremely close, and 2) when they adore something and desperately want to wear it. If your friends are super-sensitive about their weight, blatantly saying "you look fat" isn't constructive. Instead, recommend styles that flaunt assets and downplay less-than-perfect body zones. My friends and I tell each other what works and what doesn't and the honesty has saved us from countless unflattering ensembles. Friends shouldn't get mad at you for being honest.

CAT'S CALL: They should get mad if you lie and let them walk out the door looking terrible.

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