Q. I like your column but I have never seen this question. I was raised Catholic and my husband was raised Jewish. We are going to have our first baby in four months and each set of our parents wants us to raise the baby in their religion. My husband and I are not very religious, and we don't know what to do.
A. Since you and your husband are the parents of this little new one, the decision is up to the two of you.
We suggest that you talk in detail and determine the direction you will take. You might choose to emphasize one religion over the other, if one is more meaningful to the two of you. Some people find that approach less confusing for the child. You might choose to educate your child in both religions, including celebrating the holidays of both. Some people find that approach enriches the child's life. Or you can teach no religion at home, stressing values and morals instead of faith.
Once you've made a decision, tell all the grandparents. Gently but firmly let them know that you respect their religious choices, and that they are welcome to share their own religious practices with their grandchild, so long as they don't disrespect either the practices of the other grandparents or your decisions.
You might even give the grandparents children's books about their respective religions to read with your child.
Ultimately, of course, your child will choose his or her own path -- as you and your husband have.
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