Paula DeMarco is starting all over again at age 45.

The divorced mother of two lost the Pine home she had owned for 14 years to foreclosure and earlier this month moved into a rented house. She had used up all her savings and emptied her retirement account paying living expenses after her marriage fell apart about four years ago.

Now heavily in debt yet determined to rebuild her life, Ms. DeMarco, a licensed pharmacist and recovering alcoholic, has learned the hard way that weak money management skills combined with a lifestyle beyond her means all but guaranteed financial failure.

"Before my husband and I separated, I didn't have any concept of money," Ms. DeMarco said. "I never paid one bill. When I went to pay the mortgage, I didn't even know how to go online into the account.

"I did not pay bills. I was a part-time pharmacist at Target and I volunteered in my kids' schools. That is what I did."

There's no doubt that today's economy dealt a hard blow to many families who have lost everything due to job losses and adjustable rate mortgages that reset beyond their ability to pay. But every individual case is different, with its own history and its own complications.

Ms. DeMarco's financial downfall has less to do with the economy and more to do with her own choices. Losing her four-bedroom home valued at $320,000 to foreclosure when she owed only $177,000 on the mortgage has so far been the most painful episode of her dizzying fall from middle class affluence in Pittsburgh's North Hills.

The path to this difficult moment started back in June 2006 when she and her husband separated. Not long after, she sought treatment for alcoholism -- a decision that helped protect her career prospects -- even as she failed to take control of the spending decisions that would protect her financial security.

In less than four years, she has spent every dime she had, including the money from a $69,000 home equity loan and $43,000 she saved in a 401(k) while working at Target from 1999 to 2005. She's trying to avoid bankruptcy.

The loss of the house hurt a lot and not just because of the lost equity. It was the only home her two children had ever known.

"I'm very bitter," she said, of the sheriff's sale in December. She fought and lost an effort to stop the new owner from gaining title to the house for $205,510. "I'm very angry. I'm trying to get over it."

But she also acknowledges that she shoulders much of the blame.

Life became more complicated for Ms. DeMarco following her marital separation.

She checked into Butler Rehab in July 2006 as an inpatient for 10 days and did outpatient therapy for 28 days afterwards. She voluntarily enrolled in a contract with SARPH (Secundum Artem Reaching Pharmacists with Help) in August 2006 for help with her addiction and to protect her pharmacy license. That program involved three years of random drug testing.

After enrolling in SARPH, she was not permitted to return to work for a three-month period. She decided to take six months off while recuperating and attending AA meetings. She has been sober since Nov. 16, 2006.

Although she wasn't drinking anymore, her spending was out of control. She doesn't even know where the money went.

"It's part of the whole addiction process, too," she said. "The denial. The entitlement. It took me a while to see that, yes, the laws of the universe do apply to me."

The spending issues could be seen in just about every area of her life.

"If I were in Giant Eagle and I knew I only had $80 to spend for the week, I'd spend $85," she said. "I did not stick very wholeheartedly to a strict budget."

When she got behind on her mortgage payments, National City Bank arranged a repayment plan that would raise her regular mortgage payments from $1,787 a month to $2,490 for an 18-month period to bring the balance current. She was told no late payments would be accepted, and even one late payment would put her back into foreclosure status.

The agreement was reached in January 2008. Within six months, she had broken her end of the deal.

"I had the mind-set that the rules don't apply to me," Ms. DeMarco said. "Instead of making the payment on time in the month of July, I used the money to buy presents for both my children [ages 10 and 13] who had birthdays in June, out of a sense of entitlement.

"They would have been perfectly fine without gifts. I was a couple hundred dollars short. I could have gone to my parents. I could have gone to anybody or I could have just stayed on my budget. I worked out a budget you don't know how many times, to spend. But I wanted to spend on my kids."

She had chosen part-time employment after her second child, a daughter, was born in 1999. Now working as a part-time pharmacist for Medicine Stop Pharmacy, she makes $35,000 a year.

If she were to go full time as a pharmacist, her average annual salary would jump to about $85,000. The single mom says that instead, she will get another part-time job to boost her income while she rebuilds her savings and eliminates her debt.

"I haven't had a good night's sleep in three years," said the Beaver County native. "But I'm very fortunate that I can find employment as a pharmacist."

For now, her major expenses are $1,400 a month in rent for a three-bedroom home in Gibsonia and $24,000 in credit card debt that she has not been able to make payments on in several months.

Her husband assumed responsibility for the $69,000 home equity debt as part of the divorce settlement. Her 2001 Nissan Pathfinder is paid for.

She said her ex-husband has been helping with the children and paying child support.

She suffers privately in a number of ways as she walks away from the life she once knew with only the contents of the house. She gave away six carloads of items to charity. To pay for the move, she sold her cherished grand piano valued new at $19,000 for $4,500 cash.

Resolving to become a better manager of her finances, she has signed a consulting contract with her father, a retired Mellon Bank manager. Once a month, she will hold herself accountable to him by showing exactly what she spent, where the money went and what's going into the bank.

"Why did I not know how to handle my finances?" she asked, regretfully. "Why was I not involved? It was my responsibility to be aware. It's a shame I did not have a wake-up call sooner.

"What I learned is if I want to have a life of my own and provide for my children and not end up working until I'm 90 years old, I need to stick to a strict plan. Now I'm asking for help, and I'm not going to be stubborn."

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