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PrintDEAR CAT: I started dating a girl who I was really starting to click with. We had only a few dates, but we talked on the phone frequently, sometimes for hours, and everything seemed to be going great. Then she stopped returning my calls. No texts, no nothing. I can take rejection, but the fact that it just came out of nowhere leaves me with such a feeling of emptiness. The funny thing is that this exact scenario has happened with other women. Is this normal? Does every girl just happen to find Mr. Wonderful at the exact same time I begin to start having feelings? Is it possible I'm doing something on dates that makes women suddenly have a change of heart? I'm an optimist in just about all aspects of my life except for relationships. Is my story unique or does this just go with the territory? -- AT A LOSS
Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
34 Blvd. of the Allies
Pittsburgh, Pa. 15222
DEAR A.A.L.: Unfortunately your story isn't unique. After years of dating, writing about dating and offering advice about dating, there is one conclusion that is 100 percent undeniable: Some people are simply rude (also immature, cowardly and lazy). I'm a big fan of courtesy, which means if someone has been nice to you, you should be nice to them even if you don't like them anymore. Return phone calls, show up on time and, most of all, tell someone when it's over. Who knows if you did anything wrong? But obviously you felt more of a connection to these women than they felt for you. Sometimes that's just the way it goes. Either way, abruptly and inexplicably ceasing communication after countless hours talking or dating is a reflection on them, not you. Try putting some of that optimism into your romantic life.
Cat's Call: You'll be surprised at the difference it makes.
DEAR CAT: My fiance and I are getting married in August. In our families it is customary to give a gift from the registry for the bridal shower, then money at the wedding. I lived on my own for nine years, and my fiance and I have lived together for the past two years, so we don't need anything that typically goes on a registry. One bridal magazine mentioned a "honeymoon registry," and I think that's great because we want to go on a cruise in Europe and it will cost $7,500. My mom and grandmother said that's a tacky way of asking for money. Your call? -- DON'T WANT TO BE TACKY
DEAR DON'T: I'm with you. A honeymoon registry is a wonderful idea. Why force people to buy candlesticks, blenders and serving sets that you don't need? Registering for a honeymoon is no different than picking out china patterns, crystal bowls and linens for people to buy. As a guest, gifting an incredible honeymoon says, "We wish you all the best in your new life together. Start it off with the trip of a lifetime!" I understand your mother and grandmother's position, but many traditions change over time. For a mature, well-supplied couple like you ...
Cat's Call: : This is a wonderful change for a wonderful occasion.
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