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Obituary: Adam Wesley Frey / Wrestler wrote about cancer treatment
Jan. 6, 1986 - Dec. 26, 2009
Wednesday, December 30, 2009

While undergoing treatment for Stage 4 testicular cancer in New York, Adam Frey was so moved by the other families he saw experiencing financial burdens that he created a foundation to help raise money for those in need.

He started a blog to document his struggle and, he hoped, to provide inspiration to other people going through similar situations.

Mr. Frey, 23, of Shaler, died on Saturday at UPMC Shadyside.

It was only by a stroke of bad luck -- or good, depending on perspective -- that Mr. Frey ever even learned that he had cancer.

On March 25, 2008, he was on his way to classes at Cornell University in Ithaca, N.Y., when he was in a severe car crash.

He avoided an oncoming car, but rolled his own vehicle and smashed into a tree. While at the hospital being checked out, a test showed that Mr. Frey had tumors on his lung, liver and between his kidneys.

He was diagnosed with a rare form of germ cell testicular cancer. Within a week, Mr. Frey had started chemotherapy, said his mother, Cynthia Frey.

Her son, who was a nationally ranked wrestler throughout high school and college, took on his fight with cancer the same way he'd faced other challenges.

During the 21 months from his diagnosis until his death, Mr. Frey was only off of the chemotherapy for about six weeks.

Still, said his former high school wrestling coach, Mr. Frey didn't let it defeat him.

"He really was inspirational for a lot of people," said Jeff Buxton, who coached Mr. Frey at Blair Academy in Blairstown, N.J. "They looked up to him because he fought so hard and had such a great outlook. He was always optimistic about what the outcome would be."

Mr. Frey went to New York City for a specialized treatment, and while there, he saw other patients and their families struggling to pay their expenses.

"Adam got to thinking he was very fortunate," Ms. Frey said. "From a young child on, he was a very compassionate person."

He created his own organization, the Adam Frey Foundation, to raise money for others.

"Because of his status as a wrestler, he thought he'd be able to use that to help raise money."

Earlier this year, he organized a wrestling clinic and raised $12,000.

Mr. Frey made the first donation from his foundation to a patient awareness group at the Hillman Cancer Center at the end of November.

Mr. Frey started wrestling when he was in first grade. A teacher sent him home with a note asking his parents to let him join the wrestling club.

At first, his mother refused, citing her son's thick glasses and scrawny build.

"Adam wasn't an athletic child," Ms. Frey said. "He had to practice doing sit-ups and push-ups."

But Mr. Frey persisted, and eventually, she gave in.

He wrestled in the Shaler Area School District through middle school and went to Blair Academy for high school.

"He was an exciting wrestler to watch," Ms. Frey said.

Mr. Buxton praised Mr. Frey's commitment to his team and his leadership abilities.

"He was a kid of high character and morals," Mr. Buxton said.

After high school, Mr. Frey went on to Cornell, where he majored in political science. He planned to go to law school.

He was a medical redshirt during his freshman year. His second year, Mr. Frey won the very first tournament he was in, his mom said.

But after that, her son had trouble making weight, and he was losing strength in his legs.

"He had little issues, but nothing that would throw a flag up," Ms. Frey said.

Following his diagnosis, Mr. Frey created a blog where he posted regularly. Sometimes the entries were serious -- when he described the difficulty of the treatments or the side effects of the chemotherapy.

But others were light-hearted. He wrote one describing how his mother had to take him to an appointment at Magee-Womens Hospital of UPMC so that he could store his sperm in the event he could later not be able to have children.

The description of his "Walk of Shame," down the hospital hallway is hilarious.

"He was always a fighter. Very flamboyant. Very colorful," Ms. Frey said. "He could walk into a room and make friends with everybody."

In addition to his mother, Mr. Frey is survived by his father, Jerry Frey, and a brother, Garrett Frey, both of Shaler.

Friends and family will be received at Neely Funeral Home, 2208 Mount Royal Blvd., Shaler, from 7 to 9 p.m. today and 2 to 4 and 7 to 9 p.m. tomorrow and Friday.

A funeral service will be held at 10 a.m. Saturday at St. Paul's United Methodist Church, 1965 Ferguson Road, McCandless.

Donations may be made to the Adam Frey Foundation, 121 Horizon Drive, Pittsburgh 15237.

Paula Reed Ward can be reached at pward@post-gazette.com or 412-263-2620.
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First published on December 30, 2009 at 12:00 am