A friend who knows that my relationship with deer hasn't always been cordial sent me a TV news story from Tarboro, N.C., about a jeweler who was attacked outside her store. I have long suspected that the deer are angry, and they're organizing against us.

Dasher, Dancer, Prancer and Vixen? Ha. More like Basher, Smasher, Trampler and Sociopath.

Michelle Brewer of Brewer's Fine Jewelry was opening her store on a Saturday when a herd of about nine deer came charging down the sidewalk and mowed her down.

And how many times had she told people to avoid the Christmas rush?

"They said I was flipped up into the air, and I landed on my head," she said. She wasn't badly hurt, but she ended up with bruises all over her body, a badly swollen right cheek and the ghost of a shiner that was still visible days later.

How did it make her feel?

"Blessed. Very blessed."

I'm not sure a northerner's answer would have been so broadcastable, but that story of random animal violence made me want to seek out news stories more in keeping with the season's spirit of peace and goodwill. I found some. And they are my gift to you.

The Sandusky Register reported a heartwarming yarn about a man who walked into a Taco Bell and handed the manager $72 for a single taco.

The customer refused to take the excess money back and wished the staff a merry Christmas. He appeared to be in his early 20s and drunk.

The manager will get to keep the money only if the man doesn't claim it within 60 days from the police, who are holding it "as evidence." Evidence of what? Excessive Christmas spirit? Criminal munchies? Magical thinking outside the bun?

This is the season of love, whether it be for your fellow man, or for tacos, or for video games. You probably know someone who's practically married to an Xbox or a Wii or a PlayStation.

A guy in Japan has made it legal.

A Reuters report out of Tokyo notes that SAL9000 (the guy) has wed dating-simulation game character Nene Anegasaki. The couple and his handheld game console honeymooned in Guam.

(SAL9000 prefers to use his screen name "for fear of being misunderstood." Still, Japan seems to have no laws against game marriage.)

The couple met in the "Love Plus" game, and their wedding was broadcast live on Japanese YouTube.

SAL is a self-described "otaku," defined in the story as "a breed of Japanese youth obsessed with video games, computers and fantasy worlds" - what we would term in English a "total geek."

And so they will grow old together, holding rudimentary conversations through voice-recognition software and playing simple games like rock-paper-scissors. According to the story, "He also has vowed to have and to hold, for better and for worse, even if another, updated version of the game is released."

Such devotion, sadly, is not universal.

A London law firm is offering Christmas gift vouchers for divorce advice. It has been swamped with inquiries, and sales have been brisk.

The firm's founder has been astounded at the response. She was quoted in a Reuters story as saying, "They seem to appeal to an enormously widespread spectrum of people looking for that 'must have' gift for Christmas."

But let's not end on that disappointing note. I leave you with the image of two women busted for speeding in Germany.

A young woman burst into tears in the police station in Aachen when she was informed of her fine, and an older woman there for the same offense was so moved she pulled out her purse and paid the other woman's charge.

"It is Christmas soon after all," she told the cops.

And so it is. Merry Christmas, and a happy new year.

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