The following are actual statistics, newly released by the U.S. Census Bureau as part of periodic efforts to measure Americans' living standards and sense of well-being. The data predate the recent recession, however, as the most recent snapshot is from 2005, when we were all flush with cash (or were we?) out the proverbial wazoo:

• The number of households with cell phones increased from 36 percent in 1998 to 71 percent by 2005.

Undoubtedly, this would be considerably higher today, when the only people not talking on a phone when they're in motion are those in nursing home wheelchairs.

• 67.1 percent of homes had a computer, up from 42 percent in 1998.

That presumably would correspond with the increase in the percentage of population with gambling, shopping and pornography addictions in that same time span.

• 77.5 percent of Americans said they were not afraid to walk alone at night.

This seems reassuring but is probably very specific to the neighborhood in which you live. For instance, if your neighborhood has a Pittsburgh Steelers placekicker, you probably stay home with the doors bolted.

• 92.9 percent were satisfied with their police services.

This was asked before the G-20 summit, of course.

• 94.4 percent of people did not carry anything to protect themselves.

If they were smart, more would have carried military identification. (Earlier this month, an Army reservist in Milwaukee said some muggers apologized and gave him back his belongings when they saw the Army ID in his wallet.)

• 92.7 percent of people reported no trash or litter causing a problem on their streets.

It's just possible whoever was supposed to ask the question in Oakland called in sick on the day this was to be asked in 2005.

• 85.6 percent of respondents said they had "no unmet essential expenses."

The problem here is every person has a different definition of "unmet essential expense." To me, it might be buying supermarket canned soup even when it's not on sale -- is it ever not on sale? -- and to you it could mean the ability to go see a movie in the "Twilight" saga two or 12 times or whatever's necessary to satisfy your insatiable vampire fix.

• 47.5 percent said they would "expect help from family if needed" and a lower number, 37.4, said they would expect help from friends under similar dire circumstances.

This is why you want to remain on the good side of more than one relative or friend; otherwise, the odds are against you. And even though more than half your family and friends are of no use in a pinch, it's actually an improvement from surveys in the 1990s.

• 93.2 percent of people either had no need to see a doctor or saw one when needed.

Must be the other 6.8 percent, then, causing all that fuss in Washington these days.

• 91 percent of people were satisfied with their hospitals.

Maybe not with the CEOs who make the decisions on whether to keep their hospitals open or closed. But their hospitals? Yeah, sure.

• 88.6 percent of people were satisfied with public schools.

We'd give a percentage for how many people are satisfied with private schools, but nobody ever seems to ask that question.

• 96.2 percent of people pronounced themselves generally satisfied with their home.

It sure seems like a lot of people move, despite that.

• 99.4 percent of people have no holes in the floor of their home large enough to trip over.

This is good news. Seriously. And yes, people were actually asked this.

• 93.9 percent said they had "no unpaid rent or mortgage."

That was then, this is now. If any one of these so-called measures of well-being have changed negatively in the past few years, we presume this is it.

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