But don't worry, doomsday prophets are notorious for dying of old age. It's a little-known fact that people who focus only on the end of days have an incredibly long life expectancy. It's a solid career choice for the right individual.

For one, you can be wrong about the world coming to an end. So far no one's ever gotten it right. You know, since we're still here ...

I was born in a doomsday cult, The Children of God, and I have studied the issue at length. So now I can help you, help yourself:

There is a long and distinguished history of dooming. There has been preaching about the end of time since the beginning of time. The Apocalypse. The Rapture. End Times. Armageddon. Y2K. 2012.

In order to be a doomsday prophet, you can't afford to be discouraged by anything. Especially not evidence.

Oh sure, there have been some like Jim Jones and Heaven's Gate who have killed themselves and their flock to make their predictions come true, but you're not about mass murder. You're about the money!

True doomsday prophets are tax-free and facts-free zones of stay-tuned-or-you'll-miss-something-ness.

When it comes to belief -- hope floats but doom sells. Pastor John Hagee once told his megachurch, "You could get raptured out of this building before I get finished preaching." On the tape, you can hear the crowd cheer. "Yay!" This is the kind of message that separates the megachurches from the meager churches.

The other character trait necessary is not caring that you're wrong. If being accurate is important to you, program calculators for a living. If being proved a fraud fills you with anxiety and makes you want to cower in a fetal position and hide from public life forever, then doomsday prophecy is not your bag.

The cult leader my parents followed, Moses David, predicted the world/America would end in the early 1970s. After it didn't happen, he used the general prophecy of "it can't be long now!" to cover any doubt about what was around the corner.

But people will want to believe you if you seem to believe it enough yourself and they like you. What's a couple of outright failed prophecies among friends, huh? People of faith tend to have faith in people. So if you don't have any hesitation exploiting that ... you're so there.

Interesting side note: My mother, who has spent the past 35 years convinced the world could end at any minute, has maintained a perfect credit score.

To sum up: Fear and impending doom can equal bread and butter. But you have to hurry. It could all end soon.

Cartoonist Rob Rogers does "Rob's Rough," an early look at his work and his creative process, exclusively at PG+, a members-only web site of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. Our introduction to PG+ gives you all the details.