The panic sets in right after Thanksgiving when you realize there are only weeks -- this year it is 29 days -- left until Christmas.

How will all that shopping, wrapping, baking and decorating get done in time? you ask yourself about 3 in the morning.

Yes, it is true: Most of us go into overdrive to accomplish everything on our real -- or imagined -- "list."

It doesn't have to be that way. Donna Rossa, a retired schoolteacher, owner of Space Solutions in Brookline and a member of National Association of Professional Organizers, has some suggestions for avoiding holiday stress.

"As a society, we tend to say 'We've always done it this way;' we get caught up in what we think should happen," Ms. Rossa said.

She suggested asking questions, such as "what do the holidays mean to you?" And, "what would you like to see happen at this time?"

Then, based on your answers, decide what you can simplify, eliminate or better organize.

Ms. Rossa said there are a number of areas we can all use help with:

Holiday greeting cards: "If you don't like writing out cards, stop doing it," she said.

If you are uncomfortable just stopping, she suggests putting a note in this year's cards letting people know this is the last time you will send cards.

But, "if you want to send cards, organize it by starting now. Take 15 minutes each night and write out a few cards."

Gifts: One great way to simplify gift giving is to have a grab bag among the children or adults, or both.

Ms. Rossa also suggested "reducing the number of gifts" as another way to lower stress and save the budget.

"The Wise Men gave three gifts to the Baby Jesus, so you can use that as a guide and give children three gifts."

Decorating: One way to simplify is not to use as many decorations as in past years and discard decorations or donate those you no longer use. If you do love to decorate, organize by starting ahead of time. Take pictures of your house when you are finished decorating so you know quickly where to put things the next year, she suggests.

Baking: If you just don't have time to bake, consider purchasing cookies or get involved in a cookie exchange. If you love baking, organize by baking ahead of time. Pick a few favorites to make and then store or freeze the cookies.

Wrapping: "If you hate wrapping, [discount] stores have pretty and economical bags," she said. If you do like to wrap, set up a wrapping station somewhere in your house that has all of the supplies in one place. She suggests wrapping gifts as they are purchased. Keep a list what you've bought and who will receive it. "That way you can have an idea too of what you are spending," she said.

Use lists and calendars to keep organized, she suggested. Try shopping via the Internet to avoid crowds.

Learn to say no. "You don't have to go to all of the parties you are invited to. Make some time for yourself. Get enough rest, reduce caffeine intake and drink lots of water," she said.

Ms. Rossa also offers her own Top Ten list of gifts that are simple and free for all to give and get:

The gift of listening; signs of affection (hugs and kisses); the gift of a note; the gift of laughter (possibly a comic from the newspaper); the gift of a compliment; the gift of a favor; the gift of leaving someone alone (not bothering them for a period of time); the gift of a cheerful disposition; the gift of a playing a game; and the gift of a prayer.

"While these gifts aren't consumable, kids enjoy them and you don't end up with a lot of 'stuff,' " she said.

To take the focus off buying at the holidays, she suggested finding ways to be with friends and family.

"Go out to dinner with a friend rather than buying them a gift. Do things with your family. Good experiences last forever."

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