Unpaid bills stacking up? Trading dinner at Le Mont for lunch at Le Moe's? Skipping the spa coif for Supercuts?

Sure you are. Times are harder than a banker's heart. Your mortgage is underwater and your checking account is overdrawn.

But there's always someone suffering more than you. The poor? Well, yeah, but they're used to it. I'm talking about people who have more to give up than even you do.

The rich.

I read a Reuters story this week about a new online auction site that caters to millionaires. And I mean people who have gotten slammed in the recession, lost a lot of money, maybe lost their jobs … and are STILL millionaires.

Oh, the humanity.

If you have three diamond necklaces, it hurts to give even one of them up, I'm sure. And in these tough times, it must be hard to find a buyer. Though I understand G. Gordon Liddy is buying up gold. He probably melts it down by holding it in a furnace with his bare hand.

And super cars aren't cheap to maintain -- or fuel. If you're hardly using that extra Lamborghini anyway, you may have to say arrivederci to it and use the Escalade even on weekends.

As for yachts, everyone knows boats are holes in the water you fill with cash. Yacht owners must be considering filling them instead with crabs to defray expenses. Have you seen "Deadliest Catch"? Can you imagine some millionaire's shiny luxury craft populated by slickered fishermen who could strip paint with their three-day beards?

Well, it's not as if Richie Rich is going to hock his gold-plated bathroom fixtures at some pawn shop down by the railroad tracks. Someone might see him.

I had a quick poke through BillionaireXchange on Monday, its opening day, and I did see private jets, helicopters, yachts, cars worth more than your house and houses worth more than your first-born child -- after braces.

I also couldn't help noticing a couple of items that prove, once again, that money can't buy taste or common sense, like a gold table in the shape of a wristwatch, and a crystal-encrusted coffee machine. Bling addicts may also be interested in the diamond iPhone or the 186-carat diamond chess set. I only hope that whoever buys them actually knows how to use them.

According to the story, a co-founder and executive partner says the business has top actors and pro athletes as clients, 26,000 millionaires and even a handful of billionaires. They're looking to unload some of their excesses quietly and discreetly, before anyone notices they have switched the Cristal with Andre.

Cars and boats and planes and diamond-studded toys … there was nothing really interesting up for auction. Where's the fun stuff?

Baseball team. Vintage fixer-upper with cool mascot. Move it, rename it, burn it to the ground for insurance. Retro ballpark with sushi bar and view sold separately. Serious bids only. OK, will consider comical bids.

Castle in Europe. Possibly Basque region or Frisia. Very drafty but high-quality crenellations. Stone counter tops. Must see despite fog.

Duchy of Grand Fenwick. Title, village, cows. Includes peasants.

Trophy wife. High mileage, high maintenance. Completely remodeled.

Doesn't all that sound like more fun to put up for auction than Grandma's beat-up furniture or your stack of Mad Magazines from the '70s, the wedding band from your first marriage or your "Partridge Family" board game?

Still, the more you have, the more you have to lose. I wouldn't want a hideous solid-gold table anyway. The only gold I have is a class ring, and the memories it carries make it precious. It's also in better taste.

I wonder what Liddy would give me for it.

Looking for more from the Post-Gazette? Join PG+, our members-only web site. You'll get exclusive sports content, opinion, financial information, discounts from retailers and restaurants, and more. Our introduction to PG+ gives you all the details.