Q. My son is 3 years and 2 months old and he has no inter- est in toilet training. All my friends' kids are either completely trained or at least on the way. How can I get my little boy to train?

A. In a situation like yours, many parents go back and forth between pull-ups and "big boy" underwear. We don't recommend that because it can confuse the child. Instead, we suggest using pull-ups until your son shows sustained interest. At that point, special underwear -- perhaps with a favorite character on it -- can be used as an incentive: X times using the toilet earns the wonderful underwear.

We hope you won't use food or TV as a reward. In our experience, kids respond very well to a "potty chart" with special stickers earned each time the potty is used. Buy stickers you know he'll love.

Some children are frightened by the flushing of the toilet, and do better with a standalone potty chair, not one that fits over the regular toilet seat. That may help with your son.

If you borrow books for your child from the library -- and we hope you do -- include books about toilet training. Be casual when you offer to read them along with his other books; if he declines, don't press the issue.

We know it's difficult, but do try to keep calm and be patient. Pushing your son too hard will only make him less apt to train. Gentle encouragement and a bit of time will do the trick. Good luck!

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