As a parent raising a child who has cerebral palsy, I've become a believer in the value of attending conferences about disability issues.

Conferences are opportunities to get focused and energized, to not only find answers to questions, but to learn what questions to ask -- how systems operate, how to effect change, who are the leaders who will light the path.

Two national conferences are coming to Pittsburgh next month -- The Arc of the United States on Nov. 11 to 14 and TASH on Nov. 18 to 21. Both conferences are concerned with quality of life across the age span with an emphasis on people who have significant disabilities.

Both organizations had their start in the civil rights era, a tipping point for many Americans struggling with issues of equality and opportunity. Indeed, the names behind the acronyms for both groups are a remnant from that period -- ARC stood for the Association for Retarded Citizens; TASH was The Association for People with Severe Handicaps. TASH now uses only its acronym. The Arc substituted words for its acronym.

Both groups remain powerhouses of advocacy. In the early 1970s, the Pennsylvania ARC sued the commonwealth over the exclusion of children with disabilities from public schools. The successful outcome led directly to the federal Individuals with Disabilities Education Act.

Around the same time, TASH's founders called attention to deplorable conditions in institutions and campaigned for their closing. Today, TASH is a leading voice for the rights and inclusion of people with significant disabilities.

Arc has tapped Stedman Graham as its keynote speaker. Mr. Graham is an author and motivational speaker, who is also well known as the "significant other" of Oprah Winfrey.

In a phone interview, Mr. Graham expressed his admiration for Arc's work and noted that his mother founded a chapter of the organization in the southern New Jersey town where he grew up.

Q: You have two siblings who have disabilities -- what will you share at the conference about your growing-up years?

Graham: Well, I'll talk about some of my experiences in terms of the issues that are similar to those that others deal with. It's part of my life, part of what got me here and part of my ability to have the determination and perseverance to keep going.

It certainly makes you work harder, and I'm more empathetic as a human being because of it. I have no tolerance for people who have all their faculties [but do not] take advantage of and appreciate what they have.

But [at the conference] I will speak more about how to develop an identity for yourself. It doesn't make a difference who you are, everyone has an identity that they can develop. If you don't know who you are, you're not going anywhere, I don't care if you're disabled, working in a job or in college.

And I want to stress the importance of caregivers taking care of themselves and making sure they do not neglect their development. I'll be talking about how you do that through [my] nine-step process.

Q: What is that process?

Graham: You first have to understand who you are, you have to develop an identity for yourself. That can be a family identity, a personal identity, a professional identity. Then you have to look at your life holistically so you can create as much balance as you can. You create work-life balance and build a life.

Then you create a vision for yourself and what you want your future to look like. Then, a plan. That's a daily plan, a weekly plan, a monthly plan, a yearly plan.

Then we talk about your guiding principles, your value system, your attitude and your ability to build relationships. Then, overcoming your fears, what obstacles you face, and how to get through those obstacles.

Step six is gaining the power to change not so much what happens to you but how you respond to it, how you get through it, how you keep a positive attitude.

Step seven is building your dream team. Step eight is getting the right information about what's important in your life. The last step is to commit to your vision and to improve your life every single day.

Q: You mention caretakers, but will you also be directing your message to people with disabilities?

Graham: Doesn't make any difference. The process is the same whether you are disabled, a caregiver, or whoever. People who are disabled need to understand what is possible for them, that we all have strengths and weaknesses.

Q: Your most recent book is "Diversity: Leaders not Labels." Disability rights advocates have been telling employers that disability, like race and ethnicity, is a component of diversity. Many people with disabilities prepare for jobs, then encounter a barrier when they can't get hired.

Graham: I think it's bigger than that. I don't think it's just that the marketplace doesn't want to hire people who are disabled. I think you have to focus on your strengths, get any additional training you need, and understand how the system works. ... You can't overcome the fact that someone is prejudiced, but you can figure out how to adjust to the circumstances and get the best out of it.

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