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PrintDEAR CAT: After the end of a long-term relationship and a long period of "not dating while focusing on my career," I have jumped into the Internet dating pool. I met a nice man on one site. We were to meet for drinks a few weeks ago. On date day he had a work emergency and we agreed to reschedule. Since then, we've continued to e-mail every day (all intelligent, witty and occasionally innuendo-laden) and we talk on the phone for at least an hour each time, but he hasn't rescheduled our date. I'm frustrated. If he's interested, why not reschedule? If he's not, why is he continuing to e-mail and call? I get the feeling that he may be trying to decide between me and someone else (he continues to log into the dating site, as have I), but I can't get a read on it. Should I give up and throw in the towel? -- NEED TO KNOW
Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
34 Blvd. of the Allies
Pittsburgh, Pa. 15222
DEAR NEED: It's impossible to know why he hasn't met you in person. He certainly sounds interested, but maybe not interested enough to take things off-line ... yet. Could he be nervous after all this build-up? Sure. Could he be juggling a few women? Sure. Could he be married? Sure. A big problem with online-only communication (including phone) is people get comfy not having to deal with live interaction and it's up to you to decide how long you're willing to wait for one date. You're allowed to ask him if he ever intends to meet you, but I'd wait for him to make a move and keep him as an option while you date around. With very few exceptions ...
Cat's Call: When a man really wants to see you, he makes it happen.
DEAR CAT: I know I should let this go and move on but I need an answer to this question. My daughter had a small wedding. Among those invited were first cousins from another state (four adults, two children). The wedding was on Saturday and they arrived Friday evening expecting dinner. I apologized for having no food, even though they didn't tell me when they would arrive. On Sunday they came to my house for brunch, and again for dinner. That afternoon my daughter opened all the envelopes and the cousins didn't give her a card. On Monday they again came to my house for brunch. I assumed a card would arrive in the mail but even two months later nothing has come. I can't understand how four working adults with good jobs could do something like this. Is there a rule that says if you come from another state you are not expected to give a card? -- PLEASE HELP ME MOVE ON
DEAR MOVE ON: Uh ... no. There is no rule exempting out-of-staters from giving wedding cards. Your reaction is understandable but you're wasting time searching for a complicated explanation. Their behavior has nothing to do with the wherewithal to buy a card, it has only to do with appalling manners and a complete lack of class. Yes, it really is that simple. That knowledge should help you move on and ...
Cat's Call: Move them off your next invitation list.
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