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Cat's Call: Be patient and love will come
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
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Cat's Call
Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
34 Blvd. of the Allies
Pittsburgh, Pa. 15222
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DEAR CAT: I'm 26, decent looking, athletically built, honest, willing to do anything and very caring. I can get girls to go out on dates with me, but it always seems like they break up with me after a month. I hear, "You're a great guy, but ...." It's really starting to anger me. I buy dinner, flowers, and I'm willing to do any activity, so it's not that I'm just into sitting around. Any ideas why this happens? I'm giving up in one month. -- HAD IT WITH DATING

DEAR HAD IT: I'm sorry you've had bad luck, but a woe-is-me attitude won't get you anywhere. For the most part, unless a relationship results in marriage, it will eventually end. Why does this happen? Because people don't always click. Yes, it really hurts to go through a breakup, but swearing off dating means swearing in bitterness and being alone for the rest of your life. It often seems like love can't come too soon, but be careful of impatience. It can read as desperation and lead you into a relationship just for the sake of having one ...

Cat's Call: Rather than finding the right one.




DEAR CAT: I'm about to have my third date with a guy I met on an Internet dating site. The problem is, I lied in my profile by saying I enjoy cooking. He described himself as a "foodie" and a self-trained chef. That's intimidating because I've never cooked a full meal in my entire life. I don't dislike cooking, I just never do it! This date will be at my apartment, and we're going to cook dinner. He has a very sophisticated meal in mind for us, and I've been trying to "cram study" with cookbooks, but I'm afraid my little lie is going to make me look bad and make him lose interest. I'm worried he'll ask me to hand him some kitchen tool, and I won't know what it is! I'm sure this all sounds petty, but I like him so much and I know the feeling is mutual. I'm not a liar. I don't know why I did this! Should I come clean or just act the part? -- NO CHEF

DEAR NO CHEF: Fear not, your little lie is hardly a deal breaker. Honesty online is extremely important, but there's always a gray area around lifestyle habits. Example: It's one thing to describe yourself as "neat and clean" when you have some dust behind the couch. It's quite another to say you live in a loft apartment that's really your parents' attic. In your case, come clean but don't make it a big performance. Simply explain that you're not a cook, but you do look forward to cooking with others when the opportunity arises. If he's really a good chef (and a good date), he'll enjoy showing you the ropes in the kitchen. And if all goes well ...

Cat's Call: You'll find new and fun uses for those kitchen tools.




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First published on October 6, 2009 at 12:00 am