Q. My daughter is 5 and my son is 4 and they fight constantly, mostly about sharing toys and space. There is screaming and hitting and kicking. I am at the end of my rope. Help!

A. It's very hard to see two little people you love not behaving well toward each other, isn't it? While they're in this stage, there are a few strategies that might help.

Try limiting the amount of time they share in close spaces. Have them play separately most of the time, and, when they play together, arrange activities that are structured -- for instance, games in which they have to take turns or work together toward a goal. Supervise the "together" play as much as your own schedule allows.

Have the kids decorate their own special boxes for individually owned toys -- just get hold of some cartons and washable markers. If you want to get fancier, provide colored paper, safety scissors, and nontoxic glue. Then, when the kids are playing, each will have her and his own toys.

For one-of-a-kind toys, determine a certain amount of time for each child to use the toy. For example, use a timer to let them know when it's the other child's turn for the toy. That helps guarantee fairness.

Try to stay out of it if you hear bickering, but do not tolerate hitting and kicking. Decide ahead of time what the consequences for those things will be. Include your kids in the decision-making. You may be surprised at how, when kids "own" the consequences ahead of time, their behaviors can improve -- or, if there's a slip, they'll often accept the consequences with little fuss.

Most importantly, be generous with praise each time one of them does something positive toward the other-- a "please" or "thank you," a moment of sharing, or anything similar. Positive reinforcement is a powerful motivator.